(As sent to the BARGE mailing list. Subscribe now!)
[This has been lightly edited.]
I get on the plane on Wednesday and head down to Las Vegas. I meet my mom at the airport so I can drop off my oldest son for the weekend and they drop me off at the GN. On the way, downtown we see a lot of the billboards for musical performers, most of which I have no idea who they are, and my son asks if I am going to see them. He knows all of them and I mention no I don’t think so. He asks if I am going to the pool and I laugh saying I didn’t even bring my trunks. This is a card playing bonanza of 5 days.
I try to remember the 3 cardinal rules for BJ this trip:
- Keep spread to 50-400 in the GN and maybe 500. If you want to play crazy and bet up to $1k or more go to the MGM strip casinos, SLS, Palms, Hard Rock, anywhere else.
- Stay out of the HL room unless it is Fri/Sat night and crowded. Too many bosses with nothing to do but watch you all day.
- Try not to drink too much and eat some food in the day so keeping up with #1 is possible. Beer is fine but Manhattans and Patron shots typically make #1 impossible
- Only put in 3-4 hours a day at the GN. Camping out and playing day/night tends to lead to massive scrutiny and a backoff
I check-in and leave my bags at the bell desk. Room isn’t ready so I will just go play. I walk by the high limit room and see my favorite waitress and a boss I know quite well just standing there. I immediately sit down and ask for $2k marker. I guess that talk last year at Barge about preparation doesn’t work too well for me. I immediately order a beer and patron shot also. I lose $2k in about 30m or a typical Las Vegas start to a trip, but at least I did finish off the 2nd round before I rebuy. I sort of tread water until about 4:00 or so and finish off the 4th round of drinks. I am only down $2.7k so I leave and head over to Binnions.
I play some poker in the 4/8 horser game but this is a pretty tight bunch. I order a drink or two. I play next to Bozo which is fun for me as we have a yearlong political debate that I am probably down 21-14 but looking for a late game hail Mary to tie it up. The drink service is so slow I just go buy a beer at the bar for $5.50. I then move to the 6/12 rooster game that Redbird is hosting. Most of the game are players that play in Seattle. I win a pretty big 7 stud pot when I make a 444-22 full house and lose on a A-2-3 starter in Razz when I make 3 pair. I end up 100 and then John calls saying he has arrived so I head over to the GN to meet him.
We play some BJ at the GN in one of the $25 tables. I am able to lose another 1200 here so this trip isn’t starting off good. The mix game is starting but I registered for this by accident so I will wait until 2 hours after is has started to show up. The normal BJ tables will not bring 2 drinks so I have a few crown and coke drinks. I do bet 600 on one hand and John reminds me that I am not following the rules, that is OK as I bust that hand and have to get another marker.
I eventually make it over to the mixed game. I didn’t realize one of the games is PLO as I thought they were all limit. I call that game and basically lose all my chips when I get QQJK double suited and Grizz has some lowball unsuited one gap hand that out flops me with 2 pair. I make a Q on the end but he has a small flush so I am out. I maybe played 20 hands.
I see some bargers playing dice at Binions. I meant to play a little dice at GN this trip to give them some non BJ action. I have had too many drinks so I break that rule and pull out $3k and play with the barge players. I usually play don’t pass and one don’t come bet with Max odds and $100 line bets. I play the opposite here with pass line bets and 2-3 come bets. I am almost all-in when hot roll comes and several numbers roll. I cash out 3100 or exactly up 100 after 30 minutes. I really should have given that action to the GN but I didn’t.
I realize I haven’t eaten all day other than a protein bar. I go to the buffet. There is a line but I use my line pass to get right in. I really want to get back to the tables so I just grab some food quickly. The stir fry vegetables don’t taste right. I am too tired/drunk to care so I eat them anyways. I could easily have just got a new plate but I don’t and I am probably there a total of 10m. I txt John that I am going to play BJ in the loud pit where the Band is playing.
I love playing BJ in this pit. The rules are better (double after split allowed) and the bar is right in the pit. The waitress comes by very often and asks for drink orders and that bar has about everything available. It is about 9 when John comes back from the poker room. I get another marker forgetting that I have some chips in my pocket. I order a Markers manhattan. They have large glasses that they bring the drinks out in. I go through a $2k marker pretty quickly as I am sticking to the 50-500 betting pattern. Around 10 I have to get another marker. The 3rd or 4th drink shows up and I don’t feel too good from dinner. I then get a shoe where the count shoots up to +11. I bet 1k (green chip) and win. I then bet 1200 and the dealer stops and asks the floor and he nods. I win. I am going to let it ride when John says not to bet so much. The waitress shows up at the same time and mentions you have been drinking a lot maybe you should not bet so much. I bet 1400 instead and lose and she seems pleased she saved me from losing 1000 if I bet it all.
For some reason I am now in the mode of playing 50-1000 instead of 50-400. I am on about the 5th or 6th Manhattan. I have about 5k in chips in front of me. By 12:15 I really feel like I am going to get sick from dinner. I wonder if the GN is trying to poison me. LOL I actually leave ½ of a Manhattan on the table and head to bed in case I really do get sick. John is shocked beyond belief by this. He is still playing and I am going to the room. The look on his face is like if you told a new mother that her baby was ugly! I can’t remember the last time I went to bed this early. I miss out on waking up John at 4:00 singing “the counter” so that will have to wait for another night.
Thursday I get up and feel better after I drank a bunch of water. I really had a hard night sleeping as my stomach felt terrible. I decide no buffet again this trip. I go jogging to see how I feel. I am pretty weak and only make about 4 miles as I have to stop and walk which I don’t normally do. I do jog by Blackjack Bailbonds and laugh as I do that. I go have a quick breakfast sandwich and then IM redbird that we are going to play some BJ today. John and I are at the $25 table but she slept past 11 so she is coming over later. I am able to lose another $1k before she shows up and have a few beers. We leave John and try to walk and find a $10 table. The golden gate doesn’t have DD until after 7 and the Plaza only has $25 table. We end up back at the GN. Redbird and I have talked about playing BJ forever but this is the first time. I pull out some more chips and we play. I order a bunch of drinks and manage to lose and lose. I am down about $2k when I bet 500 and get a BJ. Redbird is doing pretty well and ends up ahead, though she needs a few BJ strategy updates, sort of like I need a few Razz updates from her. We laugh at that. She leaves on time to get to the PLO tourney and John does also. Being a lush and degenerate I stay and play more BJ. I manage to lose all of my chips as the dealer makes 21 4 times in a row. I keep laughing that I am lucky this is a rebuy game. The pit boss mentions you are lucky it is a re-drink game also. After I bet all-in for 773 and have to double (and win one finally) I head over the PLO game. I have little memory of this tourney. This is my favorite poker game but I have had 12+ drinks. I can’t even remember how I lost out but I think I had AJJ10 suited and a 9 high flop came with a flush draw. I bet the pot and was called by a set of 9s and the board blanked out and I was done. I didn’t play too long and realize that I have little chance of winning a nighttime barge tournament.
I do go and get a sandwich quickly before I plan on playing some BJ. John and Redbird and some others talk about meeting up in the loud pit to play cards later. I get there around 10:00 or so I think. I immediately order a Manhattan and John shows up. I pull out $2k in cash and tell the boss I am trying cash tonight as markers are losing too fast. I am down about 11k for the trip. I am able to lose that $3k pretty quickly betting 75-800. Redbird shows up and asks if she can borrow a $500 chip. Nope I only have $1k chips in my pocket so I give her one.
I reach into my pocket and throw a random pile of 100s on the table. The pit boss is laughing at my envelope. It is basically tattered and falling apart but it does have around 6k left in it. I lose some more and rebuy. I think my next buyin was for 2900. At one point Dean, Bingo and a few others show up. I have had 4-5 more of the very strong Manhattan drinks. At this point I remember a very wild couple of shoes. The count goes up to +11 and I bet 1000 in black chips. I get a 3 card 20 and the dealer has 17 and I win. The count goes up to +12 and I announce I am going to let it ride. Redbird looks at me like I am crazy, well she already knows I am crazy, so just shrugs. I stack up 20 black chips and the cards are dealt. I pick up my cards and show them to the pit boss where I can’t see them and ask her if I have 16, she says no you have a good hand. I figure it is BJ so I drop on the felt and see the BJ. YEAH $3k back right here. Count is still +9 so I want to bet big and ask if I should let it ride again (table max here is 2500) but I could play 2 hands. I decide on betting 1400 as the count isn’t as high and I win that hand with 20.
We are all being pretty loud. When the waitress shows up she asks why everyone is so loud and I tell her that my Manhattan that she brought 5-10m ago has a hole in the bottom and I need another one. The next shoe is pretty good also and I win a few 1k bets. I have gone from almost down to the felt to about 14k in chips. I have a huge pile of 500 chips. There is one hand where John stays on 3-2 and he wins. We laugh so hard my stomach hurts. I order a drink 30s after a drink is served. Some others leave or have to go to bed. It is really loud when the band plays. I of course stay and play.
I get another spot wehre I bet 1k and have 77 vs a 2. Count is +9 so I split. I get a 2 and a 2. I double on both and the dealer flips over a 9 and draws a K for 21. I have 19 and 20 on my 2 hands so I lose back 4k there. I order what I think must be the 8th manhattan around 2:00. At this point I am the only player left and the other bargers have left for craps crawl. I have my drink in my left hand as I pick up my cards and notice I have a 200 bet and want to double down on A2 vs a 5 when I literally drop the drink from about 2 feet above the table. The Ice and Cherry bounce across the cards and the table. Being a total loud and crazy guy I ask the pit boss who is frantically trying to dry off the table if I can lick the table. You have to make them think you are a complete savage to play black chips at DD with a big spread. Of course this is vegas so they don’t stop the game. They just dry off the felt, change the cards and we can keep playing. A little bit of drink was in the cup and I do drink that. I see the waitress show up with 2 bottles of water and I ask her if I can have another drink and she points to the female pit boss. She is very nice and says I think maybe you have had enough for tonight and maybe should just have some water. I tell her I am sure I can walk down to the El Cortez and get some drinks. She says I am not sure if I you will make it there and I would not advise it. If you need help to the room I am happy to call security. I realize she is probably right so I color up and I haver 5400 in chips. I ask her if I can get a new envelope tomorrow at the cage and she says I am sure that you can. I apologize for spilling the drink and she says I just want to make sure you are OK Mr. Christensen.
I think about heading to the El Cortez or getting a cab but I am pretty tired, have played 10h today of BJ and need to eat so I go find steve. It is about 2:00 and he is playing poker. We head to the claim jumper and get some food. The check never comes so I tell Steve I am just going to walk out. I txt him from the hallway and he comes out and tells me to come back and pay. We do and I don’t leave a tip as service was so bad. We head to bed around 2:45 or so. Steve sleeps on the roll away tonight.
I wake up on Friday and I don’t feel too good. I do some email and plan to go jogging before the TOC. I get a call from the casino host. They always call the first day of your stay just making sure you got in OK and everything is OK and if you need anything to call them. This call is just to make sure that I survived last night. “Hello Monte this is XXXX YYYYY from the GN and I know you played quite a bit last night and had a few drinks. Just making sure you are OK and if you need anything let me know. We value you as a customer and hope everything is OK”. Translation – “Good lord you drink like a fish, gamble with credit lines and cash, you brought in a friend who stayed on 2-3, and we are sure you have more cash and $10k credit line left, please don’t take losing so seriously and go play elsewhere! Come back and gamble today!!!” Part 2 in a day or two
After getting a “are you OK” call from the casino host you start to wonder what a total degenerate you really are. I get up on Friday around 7:45 am. Steve and John just don’t sleep in. I did remember to sing last night so I feel better about that. I go jogging in the morning and then come back to play in the TOC. I head over to the sports book at the casino and get 2 $5 win tickets on Connor McGregor over Floyd Mayweather. I have decided to bet whatever I have left in cash on Mayweather on Sunday. I checked with the sports book manager and they will take a $25k cash wager on Mayweather. I find this to be funny as you get back $27.25 on the win bet if Mcgregor wins and I would be out $25k. Rooler of a bust out gift! I do OK in the TOC for a while. I have 5-6 beers and watch Bob O raise without a str8 as he can’t see the board, only a few hours later to have a huge stack that he then ended up in the money with those chips. I don’t play too long about 3h. I see a good spot to raise with 22 in hold em only 2 others call. I am good on the flop and bet again. Turn looks safe when a 3 comes only to be checked raised by Rich Bremer. I am already all-in and he has made a 3-7 str8 so I go home now and he is the holder of my first $5 bet bust out gift.
Steve, John, and I all head over to the Bellagio to play some poker after we all bust out and we get there around 3 or so. They open a new 4-8 game and we all sit down and play. The game is Uber tight but we play for 3-4 hours. I go play some BJ and they stay. I do manage to win 1200 at the Bellagio playing 100-700 with little heat. Saturday night is good at the Bellagio as there are lots of big bettors so you blend in. I try to play only 90min at MGM casinos before I leave so I get a cab downtown.
When I get back downtown I go to Karaoke. Un has agreed to help me singer “the counter” with his guitar. We practice and realizes I sing out of beat and horribly so he helps me a little. It was a blast to sing with him playing guitar. If anyone recorded it I would love to have the video. My iPhone was out of power. I think of the opening chorus lines”
You have to know when to bet big, know when to insure
Wow this trip I am not knowing when to bet big. 😉
I go back to the GN and lose, lose, lose. Nothing memorable other than I played in the loud pit but lose almost every hand. I don’t get too many big bets out there but just lose all of the time. I drop $2k here more tonight. I think I play until 3:30 and then head to bed. Rough day again at the tables.
On Saturday, I go jog again and then head back to the tournament area. I am playing at table next to Bingo and a few others that I can’t remember very well. I mention to everyone that I have another $5 bet as a bust-out gift. Bingo assures me that if he gets that he won’t cash it if he wins but will instead keep it and bring to Seattle to tilt me at poker. LOL
I flop 2 sets early but even after checking nobody will call me. Same with a small raise with AA. I have about average stack after the 2nd break but never many chips. I then get Q♦4♦ in a multi-way pot. Flop is :
7♦6♦3♠
I was in BB and 4 players saw the flop. I call a small bet on the turn of 1k. On the turn the 10♦ comes out and I make a str8. I check hoping to keep other players in and then bet on the river. The last card is a 6 so I think somebody made 3 6s. I bet 8k and one player folds and Corey Ismadhal raises me and I have about 6k left so I call and he has 77 so I am out. I lose my Goldie bet also here. Corey is the 2nd winner of a McGregor bust out bet. Bingo is trying to tilt me saying he is going to bet $5 himself. When I bust out I just grab his $5 like I am going to keep it. I do go to the sportsbook and make the bet for him.
I head back to the GN to play some BJ. I sit down and a dealer from Thursday asks me if this is rebuy game. I guess she heard my sob story the other 2 days. As I am losing again a female pit boss stops by and says HI Monte. Out of nowhere. I am worried about that. She says I hear you like to drink all day and not eat and then bet $5k a hand late at night. I am thinking well yes, I do if you will let me play day/night. Instead I tell her it must have been somebody else and she laughs.
I manager to only lose 1600 here which is a miracle for this trip. I did stick to the 50-500 range which is good. I go to the banquet and tell gambling stories with Connie and Mike along with Steve, John, and Oliver. After the speech, I head back to get in some more BJ.
John and I play at the $25 table. We really get killed. I mean the dealer is making every hand and we are making no hands. I lose another $2k here and John decides this is a stupid game. I have had quite a few drinks and keep playing. Steve comes over but doesn’t want to play BJ. I talk him into getting out $300 and playing. The pit boss tells the dealer you can swear, insult, or laugh at Monte but don’t let him win or be nice to him, jokingly. Well she is a very nice dealer but she is killing us. Steve goes bust and I keep playing. These 3-wild people show up and they are playing one spot but taking 3 chairs and singing old songs. The also all smoke. I probably could ask to have 2 of them leave but I don’t. I watch as they win, and win, and win. The same spot Steve was losing at. They turn 100 into 450 and I do finally win a few hands. I get 2 Bjs in an row for 300 and 250 to make a little comeback. I think I end up 1400 at this table and head to bet around 3:45 or so.
Sunday John, Steve, and I tell some jokes and stories. We laugh that I sleep on the roll away bed 2 nights even though this is my comped room. I of course sing when I come in last night. I say goodbye to Steve and John until Embargo.
I head down to get some breakfast. I then head over to the sportsbook and tell the teller I would like to bet $25k on Mayweather. I was going to be all my cash (around $29k) but they had approved only $25k and the manager is not here until 12. I say that is fine and they get ready to count my cash out of 3 envelopes. I still see this as a huge overlay bet as I make the line at 25-1 or higher. The comparison I would make is if Kenny Shei and I had a beer drinking contest!!! It takes a while to count all that cash as some bills are bent a little. I see QB show up to make some football bets. Being a total degenerate, I ask for 6 drink tickets also. I use one on a draft beer and give 5 away. I play a little in the high limit room before I leave for the airport and I win $2.6k but nothing interesting. The casino manage stops by and talks about work and NFL with me. He seems nice but you never know in this game. Asks when I am coming back. I mention thanksgiving week.
Overall, I think I lost $12.7k at BJ and didn’t cash in any barge tournaments. It was a blast and so good to see old friends and sing with Un. I am making an East Coast trip and hopefully playing in the Boston home game next week before my vacation. I am entered in the Breeders cup betting challenge at Del Mar Nov 4th-5th if anyone is planning to go I will be there. I am hoping to be the 2017 degenerate horseplayer world champion!