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The story of my nineteenth BARGE.
“Filthy $2 mouse.”

Monday, July 28th.

At my suggestion, Patrick creates a “large print” version of the BAAG (Barge-At-A-Glance) schedule of events sheet. As promised, Patrick earns first mention in the vaunted QB trip report.

Sandi drops me at SJC and I fly down to Vegas.
No Sandi or Kristina this year. Sorry everyone. Just me and the mouse.

Arrive at the Four Queens Hotel.
As I check in, I’m told I can get a $12 food comp each day if I don’t have maid service. Twist my arm.

Randy Collack is the first BARGEr sighted as I walk into the Binion’s poker room. Dan was a close second.

The badges this year are different. Landscape so that we can attach ribbons with that said things like:
ROOLER, OLD TIMER, TEAM PLAYER, etc.
The Virgins (rookie BARGErs had special lanyards making it easier to spot them.

Dan Goldman says to the dealer “Give seat two a queen and I’ll give you a redbird ($5 tip).” Boom, seat two gets a queen! An amused Dan tosses the dealer $5.

Sharon gets the first hug.

Then I spot Peter Secor playing poker and having a beer at BARGE. Thank goodness he was able to overcome all sorts of health problems and make it back. He is probably the most beloved member of our crazy group. I gave him a half hug too.

I walk over to check out a tournament. Warren yells “Squeak!” and tosses me a “One Time” button.

Talk with Grapes about bad beers as the waitress brought him a Lite beer by mistake. I start to tell him how bad Bud 55 is. He stops me saying: “You had me at Bud.”

I get in a game with Grizz, Mr. Nutt, Peter, Tanya and some locals. Tanya threatens to do a live-six straddle. One of the locals says: “I like it when I get straddled.”

I beat Tanya in a couple of hands. On a third hand, I again catch the river to make a straight. Feeling a little bad about it, I tell her not to bet and I just take the pot saving her $6.

Snack bar for a club sandwich with Scott Byron.

Tuesday, July 29th

I have a card that will get me $15 in action chips for $10. Cool. Roulette. I bet $5 on red. It comes up black.
I decide to bet red and black. Dealer talks me out of that, so I bet red. It come up black. Last $5 chip on red. Black. Grumble.

Go to Magnolia’s to use my first $12 comp.
Let’s try a Philly cheese steak. Awful. Well, not awful, but bad.

History of Poker Tournament.

We will be playing lowball, 5-draw high and 5-stud. I’ve played tons of the draw games with my high school friends for the last 35 years so I think I have a little edge here.

Where are my precious notes?

I win a couple of nice pots with trips in draw.
Lose a big pot to Paul Stine when we both make flushes in draw.

I believe I got knocked out in a three-way 5-stud hand.
I gave Paul Stine a pair of BARGE dice as my bust out bounty.

Great to see my pal Bob Herlien win the tournament.

Get into a ring game.

Random comment from a BARGEr showing pictures of his dogs:
“The other bitch, not my wife…”

Paul Stine does a perfect Towlie “I’m so highhhhh.”

Around here Drunk Girl dances around the poker room with Diana’s monkey pretending to be on SNL’s Sprockets while saying “Touch my monkey.” I assumed she was like Diana’s best friend from college or something. Turns out she is not a BARGEr at all and that Diana did not know her at all other than giving her the R00Ling nickname Drunk Girl.

I have a note that Donna the waitress is really pretty.

Tanya buying in “I need a full rack.”
Some giggling from my fellow childish table mates.

Right around here, Peter violates Gambomouse.

We look on the internet for “Man on Mouse Porn” at the table. We fail, but someone does find Horse on Mouse Porn. We were in near hysterics.

Drake (a non-barger) has the line of the night talking about Gambomouse saying: “Filthy $2 mouse.”

If you read all of my reports, you know that Ed Baker has sent me several custom BARGE related T-shirts over the years. He had missed several BARGEs, but finally came back this year.

A dealer puts in his big blind. Ed says “I love it when she puts it in for me.”

David Lawful tells us about a Binglaha offshoot called BinglaHannukah! They use a dreidel instead of a die. I think something like:

  Nun: low only
  Hei: split pot game
  Gimel: high only
  Shin: dealer gets $3 from pot and respin

Wednesday, July 30th

I remember to put in my new hearing aids.
They aren’t prefect, but they help 10 or 20% with voices.

Bob O. gives Patrick M. and I a ride over the to the Egg & I.
I sit with Bob, Patrick Kirwan and Chic.
Lot’s of interesting stories, mostly from Bob.
I get a bacon and avocado omelette that is just wonderful.

Patrick Milligan, Bruce, Lynsy and I get a ride back downtown from David Lawful.

Patrick gives me a video poker lesson.
I go off to play some slots at Binion’s and the Four Queens. I can’t get into a bonus game to save my life and drop over $100. Play some video poker and lose more slowly there.

Oh, after playing $25 at Binion’s, you get to swipe you card to win a prize. All week I got $10 off or 2-for-1 coupons.

Have a rib eye steak at Magnolia’s. Better.

Another 3-6 hold’em game with Peter, Jeannie, Tina, Deadhead, Gillian and others. Peter says: “I like you too, not just Gambo.”

Random comment dept. Instead of calling a non-suited hold’em hand off-suit, someone called it double-suited! Ha!

I’m drinking 7&7’s as usual. They are weak, so I order a double from Tandra and we settle on “28” as the name of the drink. Double 7 and 7. Get it?

I hear about Howler drinking Tabasco? and Ron Grossberg downing half a bottle of ketchup for $20. What a guy.

Highlight hand:
AA in the SB and raise to $6. Calls.
Flop 9-8-8, two of some suit. Looks safe. I bet, two calls.
Hmm… I can win a $50 high-hand jackpot if I catch an ace here. “Ace of diamonds” I think to myself. Wham! Ace of diamonds on the turn giving me aces full. I bet, Peter raises!
Normally I would re-raise here, but I don’t want Peter to fold. I now wish for the Ace of clubs. Bang! Ace of clubs on the river. I bet, Peter instamucks. I show my four aces.
Now I just have to wait an hour or so to collect $150 at midnight assuming no one makes a straight flush.

Random comment dept.
One of the larger BARGERs says “I know I’m not Karen Carpenter…”

Hear about Kyle winning the Crap tournament with a big Yo bet. Love it.

I get in a Razz and Stud-8 game with Rich Strauss, Janie, Deadhead and others. I take a beating in this game.

David Kullman (Virgin Queen) joins the game.
I’m trying to explain the bring in and that you want to just put in $1 if you have a K or Q as the bring in. He later tells me about a hand where he had A2-K, brought it in for $4 and won a huge pot. Quick would be proud. Also met his fiancee Janina. She is very nice and about the prettiest woman I’ve seen this year.

At midnight, I get my $150. Yay! Do I go to bed? No, that would be too smart. I play on for another 90 minutes or so and get to bed close to 3:00 a.m. Not so bad, right? Wrong. Because…

Thursday, July 31th

Wake up call at 5:00 a.m. startles me out of a deep sleep.

Holy crap, time for the BARGE Death March aka The BARGE Golf Outing.

Meet up with Oldbear, Kevan and Gerry. Off to the Las Vegas Golf Club. Such a clever name.

Mark (Oldbear) and I are cartners.

One of us makes two great shots to save six. “Hard 6!” Ha.

Someone misses the garbage can when tossing some trash.
“I even two-putt the garbage can.”

The guys buy us a couple of rounds of bloody Mary’s and beers.
Thanks!

Random line dept. “Does your husband play golf too?”

On the 15th hole, I hit one of the best shots of my life.
About 180 yard 4-iron straight and high right onto the green. I sink a 6-footer for what I think is a bogey 5.
Then they tell me that the 15th is a par 5! A Presto! par! Not only that, the other three guys had 6’s, so for the only time this day, I have the honor on the 16th tee.

Thankfully, I never learned my score for the 18 hole round. Let’s put it this way, it was probably a better bowling score than golf score.

Anyway, a good time was had by all. Thanks Kevan!

I put on a clean shirt. Kevan drops me off at Binion’s for…

CHORSE. Also called C-HORSE. This is a team tournament played with chips that are actually worth money.

I’m playing the Stud-8 round. Each player gets 3 cards… Oh never mind.

Table: Prock, Deitch, Me, Scott, Tom B., Bwana. Yeesh! If you can’t spot the fish…

Jepson has a round of those Crazy Pineapple drinks (pineapple juice, vodka and Amaretto) ready and waiting. Yes!

Murray is late getting back to his table.
A chant rises up “We want Murray! We want Murray!”

Barbara gets our team rolling making quads twice in one series of hands!

I see Peter Secor playing at a table with women in all the other seats. He informs be that it is “The low testosterone table.”

I see Barbara later. She tells me about a hand where Ron beat her… “The little shit made a straight to beat my trip jacks.” I asked her if she called him that to his face. She said: “Well I wouldn’t say that behind his back.” LOL!

O’Grady uses the word “vitriol.” It’s in the notes.

Scott Samarel argues with me about using 28 for a double 7&7. He claims it should be a 21 as only the Seagram’s 7 is doubled. That man has a point.

C-HORSE ends. Team Moosecock (that’s us) has survived.

I take a much needed shower.

Meet up with ex-SGI friend Mike who has just moved to Las Vegas. I have a 2-for-1 at Binion’s so I buy him a Philly cheese steak. Man that looks good.

I show him around Binion’s and Fremont Street.
I have $5 free slot play at Binion’s and hit quads for a $8 profit.

We head over to the D. Ooh! They have a Big Six wheel!
I bet on the $1 spot. Lose. Martingale (I double my bet to $2.) Lose. $4 now on $1 spot. Lose. $8 on the $1 spot. Lose. Arrgghhhhhh. I give up, resigned to having a Big Six loss for BARGE. So sad.

I may have saved Mike from a life of gambling right then and there.

PLO (Pot-Limit Omaha) tournament.
Kind of like hold’em but you get four cards and must use exactly two. Got it? No? Good.

There’s one empty seat for the first few hands. Katie Baxter walks up to the empty seat, looks at the table number and walks away. O’Grady, Lawful and I all go “Phew.” almost in unison. Oh, we like Katie, we just don’t need another tough player at this table.

Table: Stephen TT, Tina, Jim A., Rodney, Janie, O’Grady, Taki, Lawful, Me.

I hate having Tina on my left.

David Lawful is playing great as usual. I put in big raises behind him a couple of times and he wisely folds. Pretty sure he made the final table.

AQQ2s and raise pot. Tina and one other player call. Flop is 7-6-2, two diamonds. First player checks. I don’t love that flop, but it doesn’t seem too bad. I bet pot for about 14,000. Tina goes all-in. Rats!!!!!!!! I only have about 6000 left, so I’m getting like 6-1 on the call. If she doesn’t have a set, I’m in decent shape.

Tina has A987ds. Neither of us has the flush draw.
Let me run this on twodimes.net…
She’s about a 2-1 favorite.

Turn is a 7. Arrgghhhh. I say “Queen of clubs” as the river comes down. River K.

Tina used my chips well and went on to a top-3 finish.

Ah! We have rebuy lammers. I use the two I have left to get 10,000 in chips.

Next hand JJXY. I raise. Two calls. I need a jack.
Flop A-J-9. Ding!!!!!
Murray bets big. Other folds. I call expecting to nearly triple up. He has AQT9 so I’m ahead. Before I can even think, an 8 hits on the turn giving Murray a straight. Arrgghhh. I need a full house to win now. River A! I make jacks full of aces! but wait, Murray makes aces full of nines. I’m out. Murray gets a pair of BARGE dice.

I went out right at the start of a break so all of two people clapped.

Glad to hear that Bruce Iwamoto had a good final table cash.

Nap time for all good mice.

Get a 10:45 p.m. wake up call. This doesn’t phase the hotel operator at all.

ADB Craps Crawl.

Big crowd again this year. We start at Binion’s.
Some of us can’t get a spot at the table so we spend time watching the cowgirl craps dealers working.

Next to the Four Queens. Now I get to play. Losing bad until Bingo rolls a hard-8 (44) for me. $45 to my stack. Cash out $66 for a $34 loss. Not too bad.

Markowitz and I cash out and head over to Main Street.

No one at the craps tables??? Oh, they are all at the bar drinking.

I talk with David Aronson and Stephen Markowitz about how we got into poker/gambling in the first place. Pretty cools stuff. Did you know I wrote a draw poker game in BASIC in high school?

Ed Baker shows up and wants to shoot craps. He says he is a near craps virgin.

I buy in for $50.
We are betting the line. I help Ed with sizing his odds bets. Shooter rolls a 9. Guy to Ed’s left says “5, 6, 8.” and throws some chips out. Ed likes that so he says “5, 6, 8.” and throws some chips out. Shooter is hitting the numbers and Ed is getting paid on every roll. Shooter rolls a 4. Ed asks where his payout is. I tell him he didn’t bet the 4. He bets $5 on the 4. I say “You don’t have a 10.” Ed: “Fuck the 10.”

Shooter bangs out more numbers including two 4’s and no 10’s before a 7-out. Ed has won like $50. We head for the cashier. Yes, I do know where that is. I cash out $66 again. Weird.

We find Aronson and Markowitz and walk back toward Fremont Street. We ask Stephen if he wants to get some drinks. He gets a big smile, but declines.

There’s a rock band banging out some great song. We watch for a few minutes.

About here Ed and I head off on what will be now called “The D-Tour.”

At night, the D is full of good-looking female dealers that double as dancers. We probably spent 30 minutes wandering around the tables.

Ed fell in love several times. He would even move his shoulders a little kind of dancing along with the girl. Most of them liked this. He did have to divorce one girl who wouldn’t smile or look in our direction.

We see Doug Grismore and David Low playing Pai Gow.
They had seen us, but were to busy to flag us down.

Next, Ed and I go upstairs to play Sigma Derby. You bet on horses and then these little plastic horses run around the oval track. The game is probably 6 feet by 8 feet. Maybe more. We blow a bunch of quarters, but have fun. A lady had hit a 200-1 shot just before we got there.

On the way out of the D, we spot this very pretty dealer at the Big Six wheel. Marisa. She looks to be 28 or 30. Ed asks her how old she is. 44! Get out of town! She says the dancing job keeps her in shape.

So we buy in to play. I put $1 on $20 and $2 on $10 to try to get unstuck. Ed covers a bunch of numbers.

The wheel barely inches its way to stop on the $10 slot!
I’m back ahead on the Big Six wheel for the trip.
Ed and I high five and head for the cashier.

Later Ed gives me most of his 1993 BARGE chips.
He knows I’m an insane collector and 1993 is the only year I don’t have. I am beyond thrilled and very grateful.

I ask Ed if he will be back next year. He says this will be his last BARGE. What??!!??

Friday, August 1st.

Actually get 3 hours of sleep.

Wake up call for 7:30 a.m. Geez. Why?

The BARGE Fun Run.

I’m wearing the running socks Deadhead gave some of us last year. Did you know there are special socks or running? Neither did I.

Runners: Brian O’Grady, Sharon Lewis, Joe Long, David Lawful, Cliff Mathews, Ron G., Mickdog and me.

Great that Mickdog is out there at all after being in a terrible car crash several months earlier.

We do two laps (about two miles.) Some people have to be places, others are just tired. Deadhead and I do one more longer lap to get the total up over 3 miles. We finished in 41:15.

We all took showers. No, not together! Mickdog, Ron, Deadhead and I met up for breakfast at Binion’s. Breakfast and Binion’s. Good name for a movie.

With 2-for-1’s and discounts, I think the bill was $8. We left some gigantic tip.

Talk to Rob Fagen near the poker room. He is back at BARGE for the first time since the 1990’s. Glad to have you back! Tom B., Kenny, Rob, Mecklin and I look at the Poker Hall of Fame plaques. I take them on a wild goose chase looking for more plaques. Tom B. leads us back through the secret passage.

Tournament of Champions tournament. Is that redundant?

Table: Russ, Ice, Sam Aronson, Mecklin, Deadhead, Me, Sharon, Kirwan, Doug G.

I’m thrilled to see Russ as he is usually nice enough to give me all of his chips.

It takes me one hour and 50 minutes before I win my first pot.

New table: Kramer, Hammer, Becca, Tom B., Goldie, Blake Mombourquette, Tom W., Me and Dianne Pickles. If you like pretty redheads, this is your table.

At some point, Becca takes her hair down and kind of tosses it to one side. I say “Excuse me Miss, you are distracting the players.” Becca likes that.

Dietch and Goldie buy BARGE dice from me. Still available at the low, low price of $7 a pair.

I get all-in with AA28s vs. Hammer’s AA34 and Dianne’s KKxy. Flop is K-8-3. I need a 4, 5, 6 or 7 to take half the pot. Turn 5. Good. I’m alive. River 4! Oh, I make a wheel and scoop the main pot.

Break for the Symposium.

Rich, Bob and I have our Wagon Wheel syndicate going.

Diana comes by our table and says “Hey Sailors, can I buy you a drink?”

Diana and her husband Steve join our syndicate along with JZK.

We get some great horses.

As usual, I wrote the comments on the Calcutta sheet.
If you want any explained, let me know.

Back to the TOC.

Stud round. Low on chips. Js5s-As and not another spade out. Goldie puts me all-in with 66-K. He catches kings up on 4th. I get my 4th spade! I pair aces on 5th and win it with AAJJ on the river.

I know have about 4 big blinds as we switch to hold’em and I am sent to another table.

I’m barely in my seat as I look down at AA and raise. But this is limit poker and Steve Landrum calls in the BB. Flop is J-T-8. Not my dream flop, but I’m going with it. Check, I bet, Steve check-raises me all-in with 87o. He has 9 outs. I’m a favorite. Turn 8. Arrgghhhh. River X. I’m out. Steve gets one of those light up shot glasses.

Where’s the applause? I must have looked like a truck ran over my my mouse. Finally some people start clapping and then I hear clapping from all around the room. That made me feel a little better.

I stomped around steaming for a couple of minutes and then came back to shake Steve’s hand.

Around here someone says: “I’m thinking of a card.” Ice fires back: “The 6 of zombies?” Laughter.

Then I am told by Rick M. and Deron about the Queen of no suit. Apparently the dealer accidentally mucked a player’s Queen in 7-stud. Everyone remembered that it was a queen, but no one knew the suit. So the player continued the hand with the Queen of no suit. Cool.

Aaron Lion gives me some BARGE M&Ms that he had custom made. Pretty cool.

Prime rib at Magnolia’s. Finally something good.

Back in the regular poker room. Pete Segal says: “Give those guys a king, a king and a queen. Dealer deals Tom B., Dan N. and Lawful a king and king and queen in that order. Wow! 1000-1 shot easy.

Drop by Karaoke a couple of times. Some good songs by Eileen, Randall, Asya, Nolan and others.

I go back to the poker room to play poker.

Sharon comes down to the poker room urging us to all get up to Karaoke right away. I follow.

Un does a song for Peter Secor. Peter’s nickname is Fold’em. Un’s song is to the tune of the Kink’s “Lola” with Lo-Lo-Lo-La-Lola replaced with Fo-Fo-Fo-Fa-Fold’em. It was pure gold.

More poker.

Pete Segal suggests we have an hour break every 20 minutes in the tournaments next year. Heh.

Back to Karaoke for “Bohemian Rhapsody” with everyone on stage. I was with a very buzzed Taki and Deron along with many others.

Need a sandwich. Sit with Dan Nussbaum at the counter. We have a nice talk. We both felt sorry for the poor counter lady who was running around at about 50 mph trying to keep up with all of the orders and payments.

Saturday, August 2nd.

Rich and I have breakfast at Magnolia’s.
Finally some good food. I treat with my $12 comp.
Rich over tips with $5.

The BARGE NL (No-Limit) event. 151 players. 7 more than last year.

After last year’s near miss, my confidence is not high. If I could somehow sneak into the money, that would exorcize some demons.

Around the Table:
Prock, Jim Anderson, Karma, Bob Gilbert, Arthur Goltz, Ryan Myers, Taki Caldes, Me and Brian O’Grady.

Someone goes out in the first couple of minutes.
My calcutta partner Rich Strauss. I say to the table that he either lost with AA to KK or set over set.
Rich comes by minutes later. Set over set.
He flopped trip 3s. Ice had trip kings. Wow.

Brian tells me about something he saw. BARGErs did something you aren’t supposed to do at the table. Floorman was called. Floorman said to the dealer: “I didn’t see anything and you didn’t see anything either.” I love Binion’s.

AA and win a small pot vs. Ryan.
22, flop a set and win a small pot against Brian.

QQ and raise. Deadhead is a bit low on chips and goes all-in.
I call. He has 99. I’m an 80% favorite.
Flop 7-6-5, two hearts. Already don’t like it.
Turn Jh. Now Cliff can win with a heart, 9 or 8.
River 8. I lose half of my chips and I’m steaming.

Not at Cliff, at my bad luck.

I drink some water. I walk around. 2 or 3 minutes later I’ve calmed down quite a bit.

7&7’s are clearly not working. Time to bring out the big guns. I start ordering Long Island Iced Teas. These are alcohol, alcohol, alcohol, alcohol, alcohol, sour mix and a little Coke for color. Rookie drinkers, don’t try this at home.

Suddenly I’m on a roll.
Flopping top pair, jamming pre-flop at the right times.
Folding 2nd best hands.

Win a big race with TT vs. AK.

TT and raise. O’Grady jams. I snap call.
He has a bad ace and nothing bad happens.
He gives me a tiny jug of Canadian maple syrup.

Moved to a new table:
David Aronson, Dave O’Grady, David Fruchter, Collack, Bingo, Tina, Me, Tracy and Pat.

I notice the names of the players in seats 1, 2 and 3 and say “We have trip Daves.”
Fruchter comes right back with “Rolled up Daves.” Ha.

Tina has a lot of chips.
Twice I said “Wow, you have a lot of chips.”

Highlight hand:
Tina limps in 2UTG. What the hell?
I had not seen a limp since the first round.
I look down at QQ. I pop it to about 15,000. Tina calls.
Probably a smaller pair, but it could be AA too.
Flop T-4-3. Tina checks to me. A scaredy cat me might check here, but with a couple of Long Islands in the bank, I’m fearless enough to push all-in. Tina calls pretty quickly. “Aces?” I ask.
No, just 66. Perhaps she had me on AK or AQs or 55 that are all in my raising range here.

I’m way ahead here in a BIG pot.

Turn 5. She now has an open-ended straight draw and has 10 outs to send me packing. I cover my eyes because I can’t watch. I don’t hear any loud exclamations from the table and sure enough the river is a harmless 3. I suddenly have a ton of chips.

Goldie busts out a little early for once! $10 for me.

Rich gives me reports on our horses. Corey is out, Bob H. is out, Steve Sherman is out. All bad news.

As more and more player bust, we are all sent to new tables.

Table:
Bremer, Murray, Len G., Bob O., Pickels, Me, Kirwan, Tracy and Gillian.

QQ and jam it up with fellow Moose, Murray who has 99. Didn’t I already play this hand?
He picks up a flush draw on the turn, but misses the river. He gives me a moose keychain and lucky green stone.
There are certain people I feel bad about busting and Murray is on of them. We do a man-hug thing.

Random comment dept.
“Are you racist in two languages?”

Rich comes by to tell me that Steve Sherman is still in the tournament. Back from the dead again!

Random comment dept.
“Shove on my ass? Will you at least kiss me first?”

Bingo is moved to my table and I learn a new song…
“No shame in folding, No shame in folding, No shame in folding.”

Have to thank my support staff of Rich and John Lloyd who helped get my drinks and bustout prizes from table to table.

Also have to thank my lucky Waitress Rochelle.
Too bad she had to go home at 6:00 p.m. or I would have won the whole thing.

Another new table:
Mecklin, Bwana, Grout, Ice, Sherman, Monte, Me, Eric R. and Pete S.

We are down to 18 players. 16 make the money.
We decide to take $100 off of both 1st and 2nd to make sure 17th and 18th place both get something.
This is good as it takes some pressure off, but I know that 18th and 17th will not be official BARGE cashes. I want 16th or better. Gillian goes out in 18th as we break for the BARGE Banquet.

I rush over the the Four Queens to get dressed up. Shirt with a collar, jeans, dark sneakers.

Rich S., Bob H. and Pauline save a seat for me. Howler, Sue, Deron and Andreas fill out the table.

Collack, Howler and I agreed to split the ADB last longer. $50 for moi. I think Randy Collack took the short-end of the deal. If so, thanks for being a good sport.

Around here, Paul, the Binion’s tournament director is presented with a $1200 check from BARGE people to help out with his upcoming wedding. He is overwhelmed.

Speaking of overwhelmed… the secret was out that we had taken up a collection to send Peter and his wife to Paris. Peter was expecting a few thousand dollars to cover air and some hotels. He was downright floored when Un presented him with a check for $16,000.

I picked up some prints that Rodney had had made. Great pictures. Gambomouse was very pleased with his.

Around here, Paul comes back to announce that he has already lost the $1200 gambling and that we need to take up a new collection. Laughter all around.

Most got good-looking prime rib. Mine looked overcooked, but 70% was just fine. The last part was shoe leather and I heard some similar and worse reports from other tables. Everything else was good.

Mickey Appleman was our guest speaker.
This guy has four WSOP bracelets and was a big-time sports bettor way back in the day. Yes, even before the internet!

He told one story about needing to win a huge bet to pay of a mob loan. He had the “Under” on a basketball game and was winning the bet by about 30 points with the clock winding down. A player hit a 3-pointer to send the game into overtime.

Then with the team with the ball down by one, a player was fouled in the final seconds. If he makes two or misses two, Mickey wins his bet. The player makes one free throw and misses the other!

You can imagine the rest as Mickey lost his bet and was in danger of losing his life.

Just riveting stuff.

He got a standing-O at the end of his speech.

Back to the No-limit tournament.

Tina goes out in 17th and we are now in the official money. I’m so pleased. I can’t quite explain it. Just so pleased to have come back and made the money after the loss in 2013.

New table:
I didn’t write it down. Eric was on my left, then Mecklin, Bob Lauria across the way.

I steal one pot, but otherwise, I’m a folding machine as players go out.

Scott “Bwana” Byron out in 16th. Alert the media! Scott is one of the most respected players at BARGE and this is his first cash in the BARGE NL tournament in something like 18 tries.

Steve Sherman goes out in 14th. Some money for out syndicate. I’m the last hope.

There’s a $75 pay jump for 12th. I hang on for that just by folding.

I’m looking for any decent hand to go with now. JT, KT, A4, 22, anything.

Another $75 jump to $300 for 10th. 84o, 75o, 62o.
Fold, fold, fold. Now we are 10, but my once mighty chip stack has dwindled to just less that one big blind.

I’m all-in in the BB with 9h6h. Bob L. raises with AdKd.
Someone says “You have live cards.”
I flop a 9 and win the hand.

I hear maybe 10 or 15 people chanting “Kubey, Kubey, Kubey.” Coolest thing EVER!

Still a short stack, I finally find a hand. AA! American Airlines, Pocket Rockets. All-in I go. Bob Lauria is in the BB and has an absolutely automatic call.

He has 4c2c. I’m still like an 82% favorite until the flop comes down 8-4-2. “You have to be kidding.”
“Eight, eight, eight.” I implore the table.
Turn king. I hear someone call for a king that will now win for me on the river. River is a total blank and I’m out.

I get up and smile and hear a good round of applause.
I walk over to shake Bob’s hand as he gets a copy of The Cartoon Trivia Book. Heck, I shake everyone’s hand. A hug from Diana and happy high fives with Rich, John Lloyd and others.

I wander around in a daze for about 10 minutes. Finally remember that I need to pick up my winnings! Super Duper Squeak!

Later shook hands with our new champ, Andreas Wolfram. Super nice guy. I was there when he changed his luck by turning his chair around with about 25 people left.

Over to the Reindeer Games in the poker room.

See Mark Trombley and JP Massar playing OFC. I could light my wallet on fire and my money would last longer.

I get in a wild dealer’s choice game with Bryan, Peter, Hammer, Ryan, Nutt, Pete Segal and Brenda.

I get killed in this game. Make a little back right at the end with two full houses in Omaha as the game breaks about 2:00 a.m.

I decide to try the Philly cheese at the snack bar. It is wonderful! Brenda joins me and she orders the same sandwich. We have a nice talk as her food arrives. It doesn’t look at all as good. Darn it.

Sunday, August 3rd.

Really sleep in for the first time all week.

I play some slots to get a free swipe. Win a free soda or cocktail. Arrghhh. I find a torn 20 cent slot ticket on the ground. This has Ron written all over it. I find him in the poker room and hand him the ticket. He seems pleased.

Watch the end of the Dealer Tournament. It is a hoot.

Have lunch with Oldbear, Janie, Peter and Brenda.
Order a club sandwich. Waitress: “We’re out.”
I’m thrown for a loop until she tells me that she is just kidding. More coupons and comps.

Deron gives me a ride over to the Goldman’s around 2:30.
For the BARGE after party.

I give a T-shirt of mine to Betty that she really wanted. It says “Eat. Sleep. Play.” Hope to see her wearing it at EMBARGO and BARGE.

Cards Against Humanity. Bourbon Slushies. Pabst Blue Ribbon.

Pete Segal comes up with an idea for a new game show “Name That Boob.” Tell me people wouldn’t watch a game show where contestants see pictures of celebrities in dresses or bikinis and win by naming the celebrity.

BTW, Pete is a very funny guy. I mean he has a really good sense of humor.

Sandi texts: “What Do you do at the Goldman’s? Eat and B.S.?”
Yeah, pretty much.

Have a nice chat with Hack and Asya about cruises. I learned so much. Thank you both.

See Ed Baker there. “Will you come to BARGE next year?”
Ed gets a big smile on his face and says “Maybe!” but in a better than 50% way. Okay!

Say good-bye to a bunch of people. Thanks to the Goldman’s for having us all over.

Go to dinner with Kevan and Beth at Noodlexchange. That’s the spelling. Geez, I might be late for my flight! Luckily? there are thunder storms and my flight is delayed long enough for us to have dinner. Peking duck, teriyaki chicken, combo fried rice and shrimp dish. Yum. Kevan buys. Thanks Kevan. I only have to pay the tip. Deal.

Board the plane 45 minutes late.

We are in line to take off when the plane is powered down. Another 45 minute delay due to weather.

I see a beautiful lightning strike through the plane window. Wow!

Sandi picks me up in San Jose. Yay!

Gambling…

craps: lost small. big 6 wheel: won $2. blackjack: DNP because BFB. live poker: got my ass kicked slots: lost medium bad tournaments: lost, lost, lost, won. Down like $100, but who cares? I made the money in the BARGE No-limit tournament. last-longers: won. roshambo: won $1 from Peter using the RSB dice.

Hugs: Sharon, Becca, Diana, Lynsy, Regis, Patti, Tina, Tanya, Barbara, Pauline, Betty and Becca. Manly hugs: Peter, Adam, Murray and Bingo.

I wish I could name everyone I talked to or said “Hi.” to during the trip but there were literally over 150 of you. Literally.

Post-BARGE stuff:

Wonderful trip report by David Aronson. If you haven’t read it, ask someone to send it to you. It is pure gold. Check that, it is pure BARGE.

Awesome cypher on the side of the BARGE chips. Thanks to David Lawful.”

Missed all of my friends who didn’t make it this year. A few names… Rick, Fich, Quick, Nick, Jeff, JR, Jacobs, Scottro, MadMary, Frank, Shari, Lee, Chow, MPH, Rafn, Tahajian, Ming, Charles, Perry, Sippy, Kuntz, Tim, Tom, Jensen, Dave and David. I’m sure there are many more.

Do whatever you need to do. Lie, Cheat, Steal. Do not miss BARGE. Really. Go tell your S.O. and Boss that you need to take July 29th through August 2nd off in 2015. Do it. As Jack Bauer would say: “NOW!”

Health stuff… If you smoke cigarettes, please try to cut back or quit before the next BARGE. If you are one of the 150 BARGE people who are overweight, please try to drop 5 or 10 pounds before the next BARGE. I want to play poker and goof around with all of you for another 50+ years.

Thanks again to Binion’s, the Home of BARGE. The dealers and waitresses were pretty much all great. The tournaments staff is just outstanding.

Kubey’s 2014 MVB (Most Valuable BARGEr) Award:

Landslide this time. The winner is… Russ Fox. Pulling double duty as a board member and organizer. He was the first one into the fire when we needed a new organizer. Thanks Russ! You helped save BARGE!

The rest of the board: Un, Tina, Becca and Kluchman did a great job.

The new organizers: Russ, Bremer, Dietch and Goldie did a bang up job.

Virgin lanyards: Great idea
Calcutta back, speaker back at the banquet: Great idea
2nd chance tournaments: Great idea
Later starts for tournaments: Great idea
New structures: Great. Well I hate antes in NL, but oh well.
$300 High Roller with satellites: Great idea
Reindeer game index card sign-up: Great idea

Patrick Milligan with badges, pretty pins, structure sheets, hard copy BAAG.

Rodney with outstanding pictures year after year.

Peter and Chuck R00L. So do Mickdog and Bree. Nick, if you are out there, when the time is right, we’d love to see you again ‘cause you R00L too.

All the other folks who ran or sponsored events with their own cash. Dan G., Rick M., Asya, Goldie, Ron, Kluchman, Sharon, Kevan, etc.

Thanks also to all the other people who make BARGE go.

Can I sign up for BARGE 2015 now?