(As sent to the BARGE mailing list. Subscribe now!)

Highlights: Won most ever at BJ, saw old and new friends, 100+cocktails

Lowlights: Worst poker results ever, Sunday hangover, broke phone, 2-3 backoffs

(Note: All reporting was done in a fairly unstable state of sobriety)

Tuesday night I played a little BJ in Seattle. On the way home at 7 I blow out a tire on my car. I have to change it and call the wife about being late. I leave the phone on top of my car and as I am on the bridge I hear the thud sound of my phone. DOH! I find my old Windows phone and will use that.

I get to LV and it is really hard to find a pay phone that works. It takes me 30m to find my parents who are picking up my son. I start thinking if I am with him all week Barge will be much different. I get a ride to ATT to get my phone working and then dropped of at the LINQ. I head over to the bar and play some horrible 7/5 video poker and order 2 beers. I make 2 phone calls and then leave with one beer to the Palms. Get there and find a seat at their only 3:2 BJ game. 25-1000 with good rules (H17, DAS, DOA2, and 3:2). Best part is penetration is 75-85%. I plan to bet 50-400 with some best down to 25 and up to 600 once in a while. I order a patron/beer. Waitress says I have to drink the shot while she is there. I am thinking I would drink right out of the bottle if you bring it over. I slam the shot of patron and get my chips. I try to order another one right away but she can’t do that. I lose the first 1000 in about 30m. Dealer is making every hand. I get another 1000 and then the 3rd round of drinks shows up. At that point the BJ gods take pity on me and bless with me a thunderstorm of a good streak. I start winning every hand. Chips are piling up. I make a few 500 bets and win, win, win. When the 5th round of beer/patron shows up I am getting close to 7000 in chips. I am now making rainbow bets up to 743 or such. The last 1h there are 2 bosses and maybe the casino manager watching. The casino manager is surprised I don’t have a card. I tell her they are bad luck and my parole officer can bust me if I am caught gambling or drinking. LOL. They ask what I do and I mention I am a jockey. Even more laughs. I order the 6th round. Next good betting spot at +11 I tell them I am from Seattle so I am going to bet 777, of course I get BJ and the payout is hard for them. I have been here 6h when I try to order another round at 7:30. I am informed that I can’t have any more patron. At first when the manager is walking around the table I think I am getting the back off. Instead they are just apologizing for their 6 shot limit in a 24h period. She asks if I want dinner. I tell her no thanks I would take $20 for the food court as I don’t want to wait. At one point the boss picks up the discard tray so I figure it is a good time to leave. I decide I will give them some craps action. Betting $50 don’t bets isn’t much -EV so I play that with max odds. I win another 2k at dice and leave around 9:00 when Steve and John call/txt me. They are at venetian. I get some Stromboli and cash out. Now here comes the casino manager. I figure I am all done but all they want to say is that I need to sign a IRS form for my 16,500 in chips. They mention to come back for dinner some time but I tell them I have to go somewhere that I can drink. I ask her if the Downtown joints will have any patron. Laughs all around and I leave in a cab.

Venetian only has 4/8 LHthe E and some 1-3 NLHE games. I play some 4/8 with Steve and John. Being 4/8 of course I play lots of hands and straddle but this game is super tight. We leave after I only have 2 more beers. We head to the TI so we can play a $10 table. I order double stoli-cranberry drinks. We are laughing really loud. I am asking what time the dealer can bust at this casino. The dealer must think we are total savages. Each time she has 14 we yell for a 7. I play around 50-75 a hand and wait for a big betting spot. Last barge I played 45m in their high limit room before I was kicked out. At the first good spot I tell Steve/John “NOW” and I bet all my remaining chips of 642. My last bet was 150 that lost. I get BJ and yell out loud “BLACKJACK”. The dealer had yelled checks play on lots of bets. The boss mentions that was a lucky bet. I told her I have lost at every casino from Mandalay bay to here and don’t want to play the circus so this is my last hope. I see them watching pretty close now. I lose some more hands and wait for another good spot. This time I jack my bet up from $100 to 841. I have to double down on 11 against a 10 so I pull out another 1k. I lose that and buy in some more chips. On the next shoe here is the casino manager. She says I can’t play and more BJ. I tell here I don’t know how to play baccarat or pai gow but I want some more drinks (had 2-3 more here). John says I let out a few F bombs which I don’t usually do but I have had a lot to drink by now. I lost about 2k here. It is 2:30 am and we leave. I decide to go to the mirage. Steve/john head to bed with no poker game here.

I buy in for 1K at the mirage. This game is often called a counter catcher as it is often the only $25 S17 DD game in all of LV. I figure have a few more drinks and then head to bed. Maybe just play 25-200 in a mellow fashion, yeah right!!! I end up playing crazy style. First good spot I bet 500 and double down. They don’t call checks play at MGM casinos but they watch from the camera. I order a couple manhattans here. When I win the double down I get crazy and just let all $2k ride. No call and then I get BJ. I keep ordering a drink and playing. Most of this play is heads up. I turn 1k into 5.5k. I leave around 6:15 am. I have no idea what happened next but I do remember knocking over some stools. I am stumbling across Las Vegas blvd when I drop my phone. Crack!. Damn. I just go to bed and don’t even get my bag. I can’t even find the room. I have the key so I ask security to help me. He asks how many drinks I have had and I mention 30+. He laughs and helps me find the room. I guess I am pretty loud and wake Steve up yelling about blackjacks. I don’t even realize I have a $10k of money with a palms clip on it. First night in Vegas is about par for me. I forget to drink a lot of water and pass out. I do have a healthy late night snack of a can of pringles. What a lush I think!

Day 2

I wake up around 11:15. Steve has come back from a long walk and breakfast. I realize I don’t have any clothes so I call bell desk to bring my bag up. There is an envelope or two of money in there so I am glad they still have it. Steve is really tired as I woke him up. He mentions that I told him last night the Mirage shift manager remembered me and used my name when he backed me off. That I can’t recall if it is true or not so I guess that is a 1/2 backoff. Steve is going to play poker at some dump and then the hard rock. I go run and will cab to hard rock to meet him for some poker and BJ. I almost get sick running but I do manager 5m run and back. I shower and head to the hard rock. No line for 1-3 game but we eat first at the Asian place, which was pretty good. I agree to pay for lunch. Steve orders a $7 beer and I drink 5 glasses of water. The 1-3 game is slow. Everyone playing for high hands and has < 100 in chips. I can’t take it so I leave after 90m down 24. I go play BJ in the high limit area. A bunch of people are playing Baccarat for $5k a hand. I buy in for $1k and play 100-500. This is a .19 game so very little house edge and dealt deep. No heat that I can tell as bosses watch other table. I order a few beers. Waitress has to be called. Steve comes over after a while and roots for the dealer to make 21 every hands. She brings a beer for Steve also. Both dealers are laughing and saying I should bet more. I get another 1k and play. Never bet more than 500, (ok one time 600) but have one shoe where I win almost every hand. I leave after about 90m up 300. Steve walks back to the strip and I cab downtown to play some 4/8 and maybe evening OFCP tourney.

I have a fun time playing 4/8 horse with Bozo, Bob O, and some other people. Say hi to Peter any others. I am straddling every hand and playing quite loose. I end up ahead 75. I am also the lucky winner of the chip that Mav left after getting kicked out. YEAH. I don’t cash that chip and keep it. Drinks are sort of slow here so I go to play video poker to get a beer. Of course right after I leave she comes by. Bozo doesn’t order for me. We laugh. I play really badly in the OFCP and I am out at the 2nd or 3rd level. I then head over to the GN and play some BJ. I am in $2k in less than 15m at the $50 high limit room table. GN is a nice place with no heat. I spread 50-600 with no problem. I hit 3 BJs in a row in one shoe and end up $2700 after 3 hours. The drink service is really fast. I have 3-4 beers, 2 patron shots, and 2 vodka cranberry drinks in this time. I decide to give the SLS a shot.

I cab to the SLS. This is first time I have been here. I know they are doing real poorly and have had layoffs already. I find the only 3:2 DD game that is open. $25 table is empty so I sit down. They have weird chips that are solid colors and no pictures. Look like kids toys. I buy in for 800 and play. I lose, lose, lose all small bets the first chips. I buy in for 700 more and lose, lose, lose. Down to my last 250 when I get a good +9 count. I get BJ. Table has all small cards and dealer make 4 card 20. I let it ride and they call checks play. Boss says OK and I get BJ again with a 625 bet. WOW, this game is easy. I am ordering double makers manhattans. They bring out this drink in a 6oz glass that is full. I at least order 4 cherries to get some food! I think about betting $1k but bet $475 instead on the last hand and get another BJ.

Boss comes over and talks to me about Seattle. I tell him I am a jockey and he laughs. He said you were very lucky that last shoe. Yeah, lucky I guess. He says you know there were lots of paint left. I told him I didn’t notice as I was checking out the 2 young girls playing roulette to handicap the odds of them wanting to have a threesome with a old, drunk, heavy-set, bald guy. He starts laughing and so does the dealer. I order what I think is the 4th Manhattan. I am really hammered now but still counting. There are these 2 younger people from San Diego playing. They are staying here. She wants to dance and he wants to gamble. I hear your pain brother. I keep getting BJ every time I bet more than 300 it seems. I have about $5k in chips . I order the 5th lucky double drink. (I mean isn’t a Manhattan a double to start with?) When the waitress brings my drink there is another +9 count. I bet 450 and 2 dollars each for the dealer and waitress. BJ, I stand up on the chair and yell BJ, BJ, BJ really loud. People are looking at me like I am some wild crazy man, not a well respected jockey! LOL I am up almost $9k. I have one horrible hand where I get 3 8s and double on 2 of them for $500 each and lose all on a dealer 5 card 21. I finish most of the 6th drink. It is almost 3:00. I cash out up $5.5k I should go to bed but I cab to Hard Rock. I play 100-600 for 3h. I only have 2 more drinks as I am really feeling it tonight. I see a really funny hand. I bet 650 on a +8 count. Player next to me has 1k bet. We lose when dealer makes 20. Before her last card the cut card comes out. I realize this and place 150 out for next round. Other player bet 3k in yellow chips. Dealer gives him a card and then stops. Calls over floor. Player wants the bet to play as he has a 10. Floor asks me what I want to do. DAMN I want to bet 800 but I thought asking to do that is greedy and don’t but I do want to play. I get BJ of course and the other player loses on 15 and busts. He then asks for his bet back. WOW, what guts. They don’t agree to that and he then leaves mad. Really? I think. I play heads up until 5:20. I win another 6k here. I was just hot all day again at BJ. I guess I am really, really loud at 5:40. Steve is pissed but I can’t blame him. I do drink a ton of water but not much food that I remember. Steve and john wake me up at 10:15 or so. No way I can jog today. We go to check out. I am still buzzed I think as I walk. We get into the cab line for the 4Q. A couple walking by yells Blackjack, Blackjack. I look and I vaguely remember them from the SLS. They comment you were killing it last night at the SLS. I think they must have mistook me for someone else who was loud and wild. Day 3, 4, 5 continued in part 2…..

Monte “AKA The Hodger”


Day 3

After laughing all the way in the cab from LINQ to the 4Q about the people yelling BJ, BJ, BJ we get to the 4Q. We leave our bags and head over to the tourney area. I have a last longer bet with Steve, John, and Oliver. I have known Steve and Oliver for over 25y and we played poker at GC back in San Jose and Reno trips, john maybe the last 15y. This should be the tourney that I do the best in or HORSE as I mostly play LHE, O8, and PLO. I play horse some so I think this is a good spot for me.

I win almost no hands. I can’t even remember much of what happened. I know I had lots of draws that didn’t get there. I bust out around 2:30 so I maybe beat 10 people in this tourney. I know owe these guys dinner. I go have some lunch and wait to see when they will bust out. I had 3-4 beers during the tournament. I should have had more to lower my entry cost/beer ratio. I had 2 steel wheel draws that don’t get a single chip returned in o8. I have now not cashed in this tournament in last 10y, though I have one 5th place finish a while back. I also had a rolled up set of 2s that loses to a flush in 7stud. BJ I can’t lose poker I can’t win. One thing I definitely remember is that I went to Starbucks before the tourney. I see that a bagel is $3.75. I am from Seattle where there are 250+ stores. I know the bagel is $1.35 so I say “Hell NO” and skip it. Really funny how betting $777 seems logical and tipping dealers but an extra $2.40 for a bagel I draw a hard line.

Steve, John, and I head down to the El Cortez for some BJ. Now this is a total dump. They calls checks play at $75 and up. But the game is very good. Almost the same game as the Palms. I plan on 25-400 in here. Last Barge I lost $9.8k on a trip. It must have been a record. But I had no heat. On the BJ forums this place is rated the #1 sweat joint. We sit down at the table and I get out $700. The dealer is on fire. She calls checks play about every other hand. We order drinks. You have to ask for special pit approval to get patron. I order a house tequila. We are yelling for each other to lose. Oliver joins at some point. The pit boss is laughing. I mention that the dealers never bust here and I think the cashier is closed. I am in for my 3rd buy in within 60m. I bet $300 one time as there were not many high counts. I notice some casino personnel standing behind the table. I ask them if they can get me a drink. I am sure this is the casino manager but I thought it was funny. I had 2-3 drinks here and a patron shot. I am down about $2k when we head to dinner. They use to have a great steak house here but it has been replaced with a combo diner/steakhouse. It looks like your basic Dennys now. We get some drinks in the bar and appetizer. I am paying for it all as I suck at poker today. Dinner is actually pretty good and not expensive, but it is the El Cortez. Total check is $100 and $25 for drinks. Some of us are still in so they head back to tourney and I sit back down at Blackjack. Now the casino manager comes and talks to me. How come I don’t have a card? I tell him they are bad luck. He says I have seen you before and we are glad you are here. He sits down in the chair close by at the other table. I notice heat everywhere. I order a beer/patron which he quickly allows. He may not remember but 2y ago at Barge we had 5-6 patron shots. We came back after dinner and wanted more. He told the waitress they already had 6 today why would I care now give them whatever they want.

When I lost $10k last summer the situation was different. I play $50 bets to start. I raise to $75 and checks play is yelled out. I do it one time in a negative count and checks play is called. I get some red chips. The phone is ringing. I bet $125 and the boss says you should have bet more. I flat bet $75 through a rising count and he mentions that I should have raised by a few chips. I tell him I am almost broke and playing what I can afford. After about 40m he walks over and says we are going to have to flat bet you. I tell him the sign says 10-500 and what is he talking about. He says I think you understand. I have only won $300 after dinner and down $1700 for the day. I get my chips and leave with the weird feeling that my $10k will never be rescued from this dump. Amazingly this is first time I was backed off here.

I get back in time for the High Roller HOSER game. I have come in 2nd and 3rd the first 2 years of this tourney. I really like it and the play is generally very high. I have a tough table as both are fairly tough. ICE, Kluchman(later), Grapes, and a few others. I run really hot early and flop 4 Qs in O8. I also do well in Razz hands and 7stud. I am probably the chip leader after the first 90m. Then I catch cold cards. I am playing fairly tight and win I raise I win the blinds/antes a few times. I get AA beat in HE on an 8-9-10 flop that I can’t even call on the turn when the J comes out. I am not winning any chips as the blinds get bigger. Pretty soon we are down to almost being all in every hand. My K9 loses to ICE who has Q8 in HIM for about 3 BBs when an 8 hits the flop. I end up about 7th of the 17 places. Heh, my poker is improving in terms of percentile. I manage to drink 4 more beers.

I call Steve and he is at the Main Street playing crappy BJ with good pint draft beer. The game is DD dealt about 50% with no Double After splits and no presplit Aces. The game is .53 and dealt poorly. I will play but this is a waste your time game. I decide that 25-200 is reasonable. When I get there everyone is talking and laughing. The pit boss is asking Steve and John questions. After the 3rd or 4th time they yell “checks play” the game is a little more sour faced. I decide to play 10-200 and get some red chips also. I don’t win much here. They do have a really good RED and IPA beer on tap. I lose $350 in this crappy game but have fun playing with Steve and John. I must have heard checks play 50 times. We decide around 1:00 to go to bed. I think Steve just doesn’t want me to wake him up at 6:00 am again. I am really beat so to bed early I go.

Day 4

I get up around 8:00 and Steve has been up for a while. I decide to go run around 9:30. The 6m jog is really tough on me. I have been running less than usual but I do make the trip. I jog down past the SLS and think about going inside for a Manhattan. On the way back I pass the Stratosphere. I am really thirst and need to use the bathroom. I go inside and as I am walking out security tells me I can’t come in here just to use the bathroom. I am thinking, “Really”? I am already done and got a drink from the fountain what are you going to do. I just laugh and walk out and then start jogging back downtown.

The main event is something I look forward to each year. I had my best finish ever last year in 13th and hope to improve. This year I barely win a hand. I think it is true other than one blind rounded folded to me I only win one small pot with a re-raise before the flop with AK against QB. I am out around 140th and my poker tourney week is a total bust. I did sit next to the final champion and she played good and was fun to talk with. At least I lowered my entry fee by having 5 beers.

I go eat lunch and take a short nap. I am really getting old these days. Steve calls about playing some BJ at the Main Street. Same thing as the day before. The friendly pit boss is all the sudden camped out watching my game. I hear them on the phone talking about BJ 7. Wait I am playing BJ7. I start betting red and plan on playing 5-200. I go from 10-25 and they yell green action. Almost every bet the dealer is saying something. I win 450 with my spread and act. The floor man picks up the cards after I go from 25-125. This is very small action but all Boyd casinos are a dump IMHO. They are probably glad when I leave. We play some dice and I win another 450 betting dark side. I had 3-4 more beers in here but what a dump.

Steve and I do some random gambling at the Californian. John goes for banquet. We play $100 each at roulette and we both win. Then play a few hands of Pai Gow. I want to bank and the dealer says you can bank next hand. I bet $100 and get a Q paigow and lose. Now new dealer is there. I tell her I want to bank. She says bank option was last hand now you have to wait 13 hands. This is wrong as you can only bet your last bet and last bet I didn’t have enough to cover other bets. She is rude about it. The pit boss is even ruder and says just let him bank if he wants to be that cocky. We tell her what a dump this place is and no wonder she is so grumpy. I of course get Jh paigow and lose again.

Banquet was fun and the speech I really liked. I asked her how to get kids interested in Chess instead of just XBOX.

The last night I decide to play 4/8 reindeer horse. I am basically playing like a total donkey. I straddle every hand often blind raise. JP and I play like this and others play a NIT 4/8 game. I win a huge pot with QD9D on a straddle that I cap the pot. Flop:

AQ9 with 2 diamonds.

3 players cap it on the flop. Carol’s husband is sitting next to me (name escapes me). Turn is a J and it is capped again 3 way. River card is a diamond and checked to me and I bet, fold, and call. I hear that a diamond came and I will still lose. He turns over 10♦-8♦ and I lucked into a big 4/8 pot. At some point I have to go call my wife and Peter plays my chips. He wins another 100 playing tight even though I told him to play fast with straddles. I talk to Redbird who is moving to Seattle and she asks about a BJ lesson. I tell her you can learn BJ in about 4h how about some poker lessons. We laugh. She mentions some story about seeing me the first time at the Venetian during Embargo and drinking 18 Newcastle beers. I believe that is the only Barge tourney I won (PL O8), though I am sure it was only 15 beers!

I don’t win many more but that pot may have been 300. I keep the gambol up and order 4-5 drinks. When a 3/6 seat opens up I move there to play with Steve. We blind raise all of the time. Every time I see Murray in the pot I raise saying I see some easy Canadian money, of course he beats me most pots. One crazy o8 pot he raises me and then I check to him. He turns over a pair of 2s that I can’t beat. We laugh. Table is fun but I am giving back chips very fast now. Patti turns over a few nut hands when I barely have anything. Steve has figured out you can order 2 drinks at a time. His Gin and Tonic is house Gin and is really bad. I order 2 drinks also. Great Idea!

I even win a can of Bacon Jams that Steve leaves behind. I cash out down only $140 which is not much for gambling like that style for 6h of poker.

Day 5

I wake up when Steve is getting ready to leave for the airport. I decide to play 3 hours of BJ at the GN before my ride to the airport comes. In that time I am able to get 7 bloody mary drinks. I win $2k playing BJ with only a few really good spots to bet. I leave the last hand with a 575 bet out there and I bust out, much like my poker this trip. I ask if the cashier is open on Sundays at the GN and the boss says no not until Monday morning. I laugh. I am so tired I have little energy today. My son looks and me in the lobby when I meet them and asks did I have fun at Barge. Does someone in this physical shape in Vegas not have fun? I sleep almost the entire flight back to Seattle. I am trying to go on a 30 day no drinking plan after Barge. My poker friends set the line at 10-1 against though I am good as of 8/5/2015.

Monte

PS - Thanks to everyone who puts in time to make Barge happen. It is a ton of fun each year.