Standard trip report disclaimer: All events are reconstructed to the best of my memory; however, my memory seemed far worse this trip than others. I am a very poor person with both names and faces. As a point of fact, I may be the worst poker player there is when it comes to remembering names and faces. If I screw up your name, confuse you for someone else, make an inaccurate physical description of you, or completely forget about you, rest assured that it's my fault and I enjoyed your company. Russ Rosenblum -- whom I introduced myself to twice in three hours -- can attest to the complete ineptitude of my facial recognition skills. My severe sleep deprivation made my normally poor memory even worse both with regards to faces and incidents. For those of you who like lots of detailed poker action, I can't remember the hands well enough for you to get a lot out of this report. For those of you who like wacky antics outside of the poker room, there are none. For those of you who like meandering, vague recollections of crap...man, you're in luck! Monday, March 17 It was with my great anticipation that I embarked on a number of firsts. Not only was this to be my first ARG event, this was to be my first trip to the East Coast, my first time leaving Costa Rica (albeit since arriving last September), my first trip to New York, my first trip to the arena of the New Jersey Devils, a team I've had an affinity for since 1988. It was thus with no slight disappointment that my trip was delayed leaving Costa Rica, both boarding and departing. However, this was a very minor commuting bad beat, as the pilot evidently gunned it, or the winds were in our favour, or something, arriving just a few minutes late. Once in Newark, New Jersey, I was greeting by my excellent Newark-area hostess Christine Gonzalez and her red Jeep. We commuted quickly back to her place and to Continental Airlines Arena for a much anticipated game between the Devils and the rival Philadelphia Flyers. First place in the NHL's Atlantic Division was up for grabs, but the Devils didn't play like it, putting up a dispirited effort in a disappointing 4-2 loss. The game was not sold out, but the crowd was sufficiently rowdy to make up for the vacant seats. That it was St. Patrick's Day likely didn't hurt. Of note, President Bush's speech was broadcast in the stadium. Despite what seems to be a fair bit of anti-war sentiment in the area, the speech received four loud ovations. Tuesday, March 18 Today was my one day to do what I think everyone else in the world but me has done already -- tour New York City. What a vibrant city, so full of life, so...purposeful. I felt almost ashamed to be a tourist, since those around me all seemed to have somewhere to go; I felt as though I were a parasite, sucking time and leisure out of a city which had precious little of either to spare. New Yorkers, contrary to their reputation (or what I thought was their reputation), are a friendly species, but in a different sort of friendliness. After taking a two-hour cruise around Manhattan Island, I visited (in order) Times Square, Rockefeller Plaza, the New York Stock Exchange, the WTC site. Although I'd been told that there isn't much to see at the WTC site -- and in fact, this is true enough -- I felt very much compelled to see it, and am very much glad I did. I didn't do so to pay my respects to the victims and heroes of 9/11 (btw, I dislike how these are considered equivalent sets), although I did. I mused how odd it was that an event so horrific, tragic and damaging to the world could paradoxically bring forth so much positivity and strength, as we somehow find a profound connection with complete strangers. It is strange. I returned via subway to the port authority terminal, where I embarked back to Tina's. We went out for dinner, then to a bus station named Cheesequake (there has to be some interesting etymology surrounding that name) for the 2-hour bus to Atlantic City. One thing I don't ever think I've done before is travel a very long time and distance to a major cardroom and not play that first night, regardless of how tired I'd been. Unfortunately (perhaps), I did have to do this on Tuesday night. The Taj has a weird policy regarding opening new games and changing and breaking existing games. There were some 14 or 15 names on the 10/20 list, but no game opened for over two hours. When I realized I was falling asleep at the table waiting for games, I decided that sleep to start again in the morning would be the better play. Wednesday, March 19 / early Thursday, March 20 The waiting list strangeness continued Monday. I started playing a must-move 10/20 game at around 8am (and it was a surprisingly good 8am game), and also had my name on 15/30. There were two 10/20s and a number of players there were also on the 15 list, like me. At some point, a floorwoman goes to the main 10/20 and says that she knows a number of players from that game are also on the 15/30 list, so instead of breaking the game and starting a 15/30, she asks if anyone objects to making this game a 15/30. Sounds reasonable enough. Two players object, so the game does not change. Again, reasonable enough. However, the policy is that despite the fact there are well over 10 players actually playing 10/20 who are on the 15/30 list, they do not open a 15/30 game! Evidently, the rationale is that opening a 15/30 would break up the 10/20 -- the same 10/20 in which eight of ten players would rather play at 15/30, despite a huge 15/30 list. This all seemed par for the course to the locals, but seemed simply quite nuts to me. I also had my introduction to time pots Wednesday. For those who do not know, a time pot is where instead of all active players paying the time charge on the half hour, one player fronts the entire amount for the table. For example, time in a 10/20 game is $5 on the half hour, so at a full table, the table's time is $50. The time is then returned to the player posting the time by the first two players to win a pot over a trigger amount. Thus, in a 10/20 game, the winner of the first two pots containing over $120 pays the person who posted the time $25 each. This, obviously, results in some dramatic strategy changes as until the time is paid, there is a staggering $25 rake on pots over $120. An almost absurd level of tightness becomes correct; hands like AQ and maybe even JJ/AK seem (to me) unplayable from early position. Yet, players waded in with small suited connectors, pairs and offsuit garbage hands -- hands largely unplayable even in non-time pot hands -- in the time pot. The inventor of the time pot is clearly a genius. It so deviously exploits poor, loose players, who for the most part, manage to be completely unaware it harms them the most. Anyone who has any idea recognizes that a time pot heavily favours tight players, yet bad, loose players actually like time pots as well! The bad players argue that you only pay time if you win a big pot, and if you do that, you profit some substantial amount anyway, so a time pot is win-win -- either you pay time and make profit by winning the time pots, or you do not win any hands and "play for free". Gee, that's not results-oriented at all. This is what is so brilliantly devious about it -- bad players are convinced something that totally screws them is in fact great for them! Players are allowed to not participate in the time pot; to do so, a player must merely pay his time charge to the person posting the time. The rake from the time pots are reduced (for example, if one player opted out of the time pot in a 10/20 game with the $5 charge, instead of $50 owed in the two time pots, there would be $45, or two pots where $23 and $22 are paid) for the players participating and the player not participating in the time pot pays nothing if he wins a large pot. This brings up an interesting theoretical situation. Consider the situation in which there are 10 equally tight and equally skilled players. If they're all doing the same thing, clearly none of these players' expectations are affected by whether collection is taken the normal way, or via time pot. However, if one player sits out, this player has a distinct advantage. His opponents are trying to play correctly taking the time pot into consideration -- i.e. very tightly -- and this will allow the non-time pot player to steal blinds and small pots with an excellent rate of success. So in this case, the equilibrium would be for no one to be involved in the time pot. There are then two points for the game where no one holds an advantage over anyone else (I think these are Pareto efficient points); no one pays time, and everyone pays time. In reality, however, no poker game is like this; there are tight players and loose players. In a semi-loose game, I'm pretty sure that it is correct for all tight players to be involved in the time pot; I don't think a tight player can improve his position by opting to pay time and exploiting the other tight players given the presence of even a handful of looser players. However, in an even somewhat tightish game, some interesting situations are created by the time pots in blind attack and defence situations. If it is folded to you on the button in a time pot, should you steal the blinds more aggressively or passively? The time pot dictates more passively, since there is a prohibitive rake for breaching the trigger point. However, the blinds also realize this and will defend far less (at least in theory). The time pot also creates some weird postflop strategy adjustments to avoid paying time as well. I open-raised in a 15/30 game (where the trigger was $180 and time raked was $25/hand) with AK on the button. The big blind called. $70 in the middle. The flop came K-x-x. He checks, I bet, he calls. $100 in the middle. The turn is another rag, and he checks. Note that if we both put in two big bets from this point, the pot becomes $220 and thus is a time pot. If we both put in one big bet from this point, the pot is only $160 and does not trigger the time pot. Suppose the pot is $160. Now, even assuming no risk of being raised by a better hand, you are actually laying 6:1 to make a value bet! (If you make a value bet and get paid off, you win $30, but because you triggered the time pot, you lose $25 of that for a net of $5.) So I check back the turn. The river is another rag, he checks again, I bet, he calls, I show and win a $160 pot and avoid the time. (In retrospect, betting the turn and checking the river might be better, to avoid losing to a free card. But the main point is the absurdness of it all.) Enough about that. So any time I'm on a poker trip, I always try to play the late evening and graveyard shifts, since that's usually when the action is. Most casual players play the late evening, and by graveyard everyone's stuck and tired. So I typically plan my days to wake up around 5:00 PM and go to bed around 9:00 AM when I play poker. So after a brief 4.5 hour session where I made $268, I went to nap. I went to play again at 6:30 PM, an 11.5-hour session lasting until 6:00 AM where I make poker minimum wage of $219. Not the most impressive start, but at the same time, I'm not stuck either. Thursday, March 20 - early Friday, March 21 Today, some of the ATLARGErs started to trickle in, but still, I was playing with mostly locals and non-ARG tourists. The first one I recognized was Tiger123, who sat in my late evening 15/30 hold'em game. (I thought he didn't play hold'em?) The 15/30 was a good but not great game where I made $632 in six hours; the 20/40 had two fish but a number of solid players as well; I lost $499. Another sub-EV day, but again, beats being stuck. The reaction to my PokerStars t-shirt was interesting among the crowd. When I took my last poker trip to Vegas and L.A. last April/May, the number of people who had even *heard* of PokerStars was a minority. This time, they all asked me how much I played at PokerStars and what my screen name was. When they found out I *worked* for PokerStars, they had an endless number of the usual questions. It was also great to see the other ATLARGErs proudly bearing their support for PokerStars and their sponsorship of ATLARGE. I went to bed at 6:00 AM, waking up at 10:00 for the H.O.E. in the morning. I do not consider myself someone who does well on little sleep (add foreshadowing music). Friday, March 21 - all of Saturday, March 22 (I didn't sleep any of it) This was the first official ATLARGE event, the H.O.E. I play hold'em well and O/8 passably; my leak is clearly the "E", or Stud/8. I read the Stud/8 section of HLSFAP and the Russ post and played some online to get myself accustomed to the fundamentals, but I still have played less than 15 hours of Stud/8 in my life. PokerStars added $600 to this first event (as they did for all three tournaments), and I felt it would seem very improper if a PokerStars employee finished in the money, so I selflessly busted out in 50th of the 54 players. There were only two hands to note. During the hold'em round, I picked up AK and open-raised from middle position. Jerrod Ankenman 3-bet me with AJ. The board came down A-J-x-y-z and I was forced to call him down and thus got in trouble very early. Bent but not broken, in the Stud/8 round, a queen up (the owner of which I cannot recall at this time) completed Jeff "ADB Jester" Woods' bring-in. I re-raised with (A3)A. Jester called both raises with his deuce (!) and the queen called. On fourth, I have (A3)A3; Jester caught another low card (6?), and I dont' remember what the queen caught, only that it didn't look at all threatening. I lead and I get called on both spots. I have (A3)A38 on fifth and bet again. Jester catches a straightening low card and calls; the queen folds. I brick with a jack on sixth and check to Jester's fourth low card on board; Jester checks back. I check again on the river, Jester bets, I call and he shows me a straight 7 to scoop, having started with some razz-type hand and backed into a freakish straight. :p That pretty much does it for me and I bust out 50th of 54 players shortly after that hand. I know; I owe a buck to the pot at the next ARG event. I also learned for the first time that H.O.E. is actually pronounced "hoe". I had assumed it was called "H-O-E", but "hoe" provides for much better double entendres ("hoe event", "busting in the hoe", "where did you finish in the hoe"). If someone asks what a "H.O.E. event" is, I think the explanation would be invariably disappointing. The bust-out allowed me to go nap after getting very little sleep the night before. I woke up fresh around 5:00 and headed down to the hospitality suite, where Matt (jacksup) is watching the college hoops tournament. I learn that Matt is not like most casual fans, as he is evidently a star player at his college, which I understand is renowned for its men's basketball program. Matt takes a phone call from Joan Hadley (AlwaysAware) and evidently they are both heading down to the $120 buy-in, $100 rebuy Tropicana NLHE tournament. I figure that sounds like a good practice event for the ($60, no rebuy) ATLARGE NLHE event the next morning, so I head down with Matt. This marks the first time that I leave the Taj property since arriving in AC. The Trop's poker room is an attractive room, although a glance at the board indicates that their mid-limit hold'em game selection is a bit lacking. The structure of the tournament is fairly good as well. I take a rebuy fairly early on, after trying to run an all-in bluff against aces full (the fish called, if you can believe it). The rebuy was funny because I didn't realize I had to pay for the rebuy; after playing rebuy tournaments in Costa Rica where all rebuys are done on credit, I completely had forgotten I had to pay in actual cash! At the break, I have exactly the 500 in chips that I started the tournament with, except being down a rebuy. I rebuy again to "double through", so I'm in for $320. The rebuy takes me to an averagish stack. After the break, I double through with the powerful hand of Qd4d. With three people limping in, I limp on the button with my monster. The flop comes down rather unimpressively for my hand, A-Q-8 with one diamond, but it's checked around to me and I take a free card, an offsuit 4. The small blind, who is *terrible* but has a huge stack, bets out about half the pot. It is folded around to me. I raise all-in (maybe 1.5x the pot). He agonizes and calls. He has A5 and I dodge his redraw two pair outs to double through. Shortly after that, I try to steal with some crap hand and knock someone out when he defends his blind and I suck out. After that, I am raising nearly everything under the sun, putting a lot of pressure on everyone. I get them to fold when I have nothing and get them to call when I have big pairs. At the second break, with blinds of (I think) 300-600 and 50 ante, I have a staggering 20,000; I nearly have the table covered -- that is, covered *combined* -- with two tables to go. After the second break, I am raising about 60% of all unopened pots. I am taking down almost all of them uncontested. At 14 players, I finally get caught when I raise early with QT and ATLARGEr Rick (whose name tag says "Rick") calls all-in out of the SB with JJ. His hand holds up. Rick had only about 3000 chips and someone (Matt?) notes it "barely makes a dent" in my stack, and he's right; it's a sixth of my stack at best. However, a couple laps later on my big blind, it is folded around to Rick who now has around 7000-8000. He triples my blind from the button. I call with Ad3d. The flop comes Ac-8c-3x and I figure if I check, an approximate pot-sized raise of his pot-sized bet would put him all-in. So I check-raise him all-in. He calls, turns over Jc9c and hits a flush on the turn. Aces and threes again are my undoing. Minutes after having the entire table covered, I'm short-stacked at about 6000 chips. I win a few pots to take me back to 20000 (except now this is below par instead of way out in first) hang on to make the final table and the money. I haven't played a hand at the final table and I'm about 7th in chips. Rick, my nemesis, open-limps for 1000 in mid-late position. He has a big stack. Normally when someone does this, guys in the next state put the limper on aces. But I have seen Rick do this a couple of times with small pairs, face-face, suited connectors and A-small hands. So looking down on the button I find Ks7s, although I fugre my hand is not so important. I figure that since I am raising a limper, the blinds will respect that and fold dutifully without a real hand, and that Rick will fold because my read on him is that he is not strong. I make it 5000. The blinds cooperate, but Rick does not. He calls, which am I unhappy about. I do not put him on a big pair though. The flop comes down 9-6-2 with two spades. So even though I started with crap, I got what seems to be a good flop; dodging all the high cards he might have and giving me a flush draw. Rick bets 7000, I move in for about 16000 and Rick is compelled to call with his A9. Ugh. Even worse, his ace is a spade, so I am drawing to only 8 outs, and if I hit one on the turn he has a redraw. Turn and river blank off, and I feel rather disgusted with 9th place money of $432. My rides, Joan and Matt, have ditched me, so now I am forced to endure the agony of requiring a ride home with Rick, the man who tortured me and robbed me of my ability to coast to a big win. Actually, he is an extremely nice guy, so if I had to blow off all my chips to someone in that thing, I'm quite glad it was him. Rick finished in 3rd. In the interim, I played the famed $7.50/$15.00 game at the Trop. As advertised, the game was full of people with just absolutely no clue. However, Jerrod soon occupies the 9 seat (I'm in the 6), to significantly change my game EV. I decide that since this is probably the smallest game I'll play on the trip that I will forego the EV for some conversation that is not completely mind-numbing (as it was with the 5 seat, an annoying loudmouth hotshot kid) and move to the 8 seat. Jerrod has obviously put a lot of thought into game theory and poker, and he is kind enough to explain everything to me twice and use simple words. I make a mental note to myself that it would be very edifying to re-read Jerrod and Bill's [0,1] posts and put some effort into understanding them. When Rick goes out, it's back to the Taj. Keep in mind that my morning is now 5:00pm, so wide awake for some 2:00am (read: mid-afternoon) poker. Of course, the big crown jewel of the ATLARGE event is 11:00am, so I know I can't play too late. The plan is go to to bed around 3-4am and wake up at 9:30 for the pre-NLHE breakfast. That plan quickly goes to all hell as the 15/30 hold'em game is totally off the hook from 1-6am. (Editor's Note: My usage of modern urban slang to describe the expected win rate of a poker game is the fault of PokerStars player "Regency", a young pro lady player who used that term during my conversation with her at the Taj to describe the 30/60 hold'em game at PokerStars.) We have a solid hour-long period with an average pot of $600. In one particularly memorable pot (which I was not involved in) the pot was capped 7 ways preflop, and the player on my immediate right -- a good player -- had QJs. The flop came down T-9-3. It is capped again 6 ways, with the player on right putting in the last raise. The turn blanks; this time it is checked to the nut straight and three players call. The river is a 3. The player on my right bets, and tells me in a low voice he has the nuts. An absolutely clueless guy raises. The player to the right of nut straight guy mentions out loud that the board paired on the river. Nut straight guy hears this, re-checks the board, gets scared and calls. The clueless guy turns over A3, having invested four bets on the flop with bottom pair, then had the audacity to raise the guy who capped it on the flop when hitting his trip card. Yes, it was a good game. A few fish leave and the game starts to wind down. But by the time I realize the game is no longer that good, it is about 7:00am. The problem at this point is that I would like to attend the ATLARGE breakfast and have the NLHE tournament, and going to bed to sleep for 2 hours seems like it would do more harm than good. So I grind out the last two hours, then head up to the breakfast, up $468. That's over 1.5 BB/hour, but I estimate that to be sub-EV considering the lineup. I think in certain games which are totally fishy, one can make well over 2 BB and even upwards of 3 BB/hour. The 1 BB/hour figure that a good player is "supposed" to make is really just an average of all the good and bad games you play in a year, I think. If you have the luxury of being game-selective, I think a 2 BB/hour long run is doable. I'm fully expecting to be knocked out of the NLHE very early after making some stupid decision or misreading my hand, since I had already been playing poker for 16 straight hours (albeit with just one mistake, limping in with 9s8d thinking it was 9d8d) before the first card of the tournament is dealt. Despite the memorability of this event, I really can remember very little about it. I can't remember many interesting hands; in my sleep deprivation, I was playing on autopilot. I remember the table next to us busting what seemed to be about 8 of the first 10 victims, with Sabyl taking out almost all of them. I don't remember holding a lot of cards. I definitely was able to pick up a lot of blinds at my first table, as I was able to steal blinds frequently on my button and SB, and got a few walks and free looks in my big blind. This allowed me to stay on pace for the level increases. I remember knocking out the defending champion, Dave Fruchter and winning the $100 black chip bounty. I also win two bottles of upstate New York wine. I wish I could remember the individual who had very generously donated these bottles, but I cannot. :( Please post to this thread if that is you. I get asked a couple of times if I am re-bountying the $100. This seems extraordinarily -ev to me, so I decline. In retrospect I don't know if that was a breach of ARG ettiquette or anything. I hope not. At four tables, I was moved to Seat 1, with Sabyl in Seat 2, Patrick Milligan in Seat 3 with a huge stack, and then they later would move Bill Chen to #7 and Jerrod Ankenman to #8 with medium stacks, and thus my easy ride picking up blinds and having my BB unchallenged was history. At two tables I bust someone (again, the memory thing) and receive a cool 1994 BARGE chip (again, please let me know who you were). On one hand I do vaguely remember, I open-raise on the button with Q4s. Both blinds are very short stacked. IIRC, we are playing 200/400 and I make it around 1200. The SB, Crunch, moves all-in for about 1800. I have to call with two cards. He has AK, so I'm acceptably live. The flop's door card and last card are both queens, and Crunch is unhappily out. I get a t-shirt to commemorate busting Crunch out of ATLARGE 2003. It is at this point that I realize I did not bring a bust-out gift for anyone, and so I will have to win the tournament to save face. During this tournament, there is an inordinate amount of Presto. While it's true that you have to show Presto every time you win with it -- thus creating the impression it is showing up a lot -- there seemed to be far more Prestos dealt than expectation. The most notable thing is that we all seemed to have excellent Presto Detection, since although I remember 7-8 blind steals with Presto, I can only remember one soul being foolish enough to challenge Presto all-in. I would also think that there is a weird subconscious effect on everyone's preflop strategy going on where people were throwing away 44, 66 and 77 in identical situations in which they raised with Presto. I arrive at the final table in seat #9 as a slightly above average stack. It is my great misfortune to have Jerrod with a whole crapload of chips on my immediate left in seat #1. Identically repeating his H.O.E. performance from the day before, "Action" Bob Hwang from the #8 seat is first out of the final table, making us 8-handed for a very long time. We play about an hour of the most tedious no-limit hold'em the rail ever had the displeasure of viewing. It is raise and take it nearly every hand, with some occasional raise, re-raise and take it. We see two flops in three half-hour rounds, and zero showdowns. Jerrod, Brad and 8-2 Dave are the ones seeming to pick up more than their fair share of blinds. We play some more raise and take it poker. There is a hand that dramatically changes the complexion of the final table. 8-2 Greg raises UTG with an above-average stack. Jerrod from middle position moves all-in (his stack size is irrelevant, since he is chip leader by a hefty margin) with AK. Greg calls with AJ. Neither player is suited, but Greg miracles a flush with his ace. Jerrod is now well below par, and as ugly as the suckout was, I am very happy to see the chips move from him to Greg. Finally, we get another elimination as Patrick Milligan raises from the #4 (?) seat into me in the #9 seat with the SB holding 77. I make a raise slightly over the pot size, putting him all-in. He thinks for a while and calls. I am ecstatic to see his 66 instead of AK/AQ. It's all air and Patrick is done in 8th. I make another kill on the very next hand, when it is folded to me in the SB with KQ. I make a standard raise and Jerrod moves all-in from the BB. I am getting over 2:1 and have to call. He shows KT, so again I am very lucky to have a dominating hand with someone notched just under me. At this point, I take the chip lead as pictured in http://ygc.collectionsoftware.com/atlarge2003/Img0591.JPG. I am not able to be an overly aggressive big stack unlike last night at the Trop, as people keep moving in in front of me, or when it is unopened in early position, I have total and utter crap that I can't even steal with. Andrew Richman and Jeff Calkins are gone in 6th and 5th respectively (no hands --remember that I am at this point at HOUR 25 of continuous poker without sleep). At four-handed, I have about 40% of the chips, the two 82-ers, Greg and Dave have about 25% each, and Brad Edmonds has 10%. However, I have played a lot at other tables with Brad and have a very high opinion of his play, so I grow concerned because he keeps hanging around. Dave eventually takes him out to pull about even with me in chips. I am stuck between the two members of the 8-2 poker club, who seem more than willing to go to war against one another. After 30-45 minutes of 3-handed jousting that accomplishes very little, Dave takes out Greg. With that hand, he takes a 95,000-40,000 chip lead on me with blinds of 1000-2000 (no ante) as we start heads-up. It is over on the first hand. The clock has just hit Hour 26 on my poker marathon, and I make the first decision I regret in the tournament (and second of the night). Dave makes it 8000 on the button. I look down to find QJ. My first thought is that this is a well above-average hand and could easily be better than what Dave has. That much was true. In the heat of the moment, I thought that my best play was to re-raise all-in, since that would only be a slight overbet of the pot. I seriously underestimated the play remaining; I could have just called to see the flop. I also knew that Dave was not someone who would keep firing chips if the flop missed him, meaning that I had a good advantage over him knowing where he was. Perhaps I am being results-oriented, but I feel I should have tried to play a multiple street game instead of moving all-in, which is what I did. Dave thought it over but called fairly quickly with KJ, and won. Congrats to him on a really great tournament; I truly think he played well and is a worthy champion. That does not mean I am not incredibly pissed off at myself. I wandered around the room for a while, talking to myself saying that I didn't have to move in on him. I'm a good enough heads-up player and with money left to play, calling to see the flop was clearly the play. It takes only one mistake to ruin a well-played NLHE tournament. In reality, my mistake (if in fact a mistake) was not all that large in terms of just raw EV against the distribution of possible hands for him, because at these blind sizes, moving in with any decent hand is very rarely a bad play, but I was in a situation where I was probably the better multiple-street player (although not necessarily) and instead chose to gamble. That is where the mistake was made. I was very upset at myself and if you were one of the many people who came to me with your heartfelt congratulations and I accepted them with a very cool reception, I apologize for that. Jester gave me the second place added money from PokerStars, but collecting the actual second-place money from the Taj was a bureaucratic mess of forms. I can see now why that poker players greatly prefer tournaments that don't issue tax forms. I took a $400 bad beat with the 30% tax taken out of my winnings, effectively winning 3rd place money for finishing 2nd. Reeling from my defeat, I stumbled into the ATLARGE banquet. It was a table with some tough players. Matt, ADB Fich, Jerrod, Sabyl, Bill Chen and Jester are at the table, although I can't remember the specific seat assignments. Despite this tough draw, I am easily able to spot the fish, as I think everyone ordered the sea bass. I am actually misdealt sea bass despite ordering steak, but it's a very minor beat. The slightly bigger beat is that for lasting to get heads-up in the NLHE event, the open bar that was made available is now closed. After dinner, we all walked down to the poker room. I think Jerrod, Sabyl and Bill wanted to start the 5-5 PL, so I knew it'd be a soft game (cough). However, I was now in Hour 27. I was actually tempted to sit and play limit hold'em, as I literally can do that in my sleep. But my brain finally figured out that it was time to make the conscious decision to shut down. So I went and took a two-hour nap. I came back down at 1:00am in a good 15/30 hold'em game where the only downsides were playing with "Buckshot" Stephen B. and ActionBob (yes, that nickname is a reverse tell, btw). These guys play g00t, but the other fish were more than plenty bad to make up for their presence. I'm up $1191 when I notice Buckshot and ActionBob are dropping down to the 10/20. They graciously tell me it's a great game (or maybe that it will be a great game if I show up). It ends up being a pretty good game, but I lose $299. At some point, ActionBob moved back to the 15/30 (hmmm...was it just a ploy to get me out of the game...?). He late came over to my table and asked me if I ever slept. I responded, "I *was* sleeping". I'd fallen asleep on the flop and ActionBob had startled me back into the conscious world just as a bet was being made on the river. I decided then to take my $900 and get some real sleep, the kind you get in a bed. Sunday, March 23 I didn't pre-register for the Stud event, but nevertheless I woke up at 10:30 to rush down to see if late registration was still available. It looked like I was out of luck, until it was realized that Jerry Gerner was not able to make it, so I took his seat. (Jerry, if you are reading this post, I owe you $75. Please e-mail me; I have e-mailed you with no response.) I have played less than 5 hours of Stud in my life. Ignorance being bliss, I thought I actually played rather well. However, my only mistake my have cost me any chance of winning. The bring-in is folded around to me, and I have split aces. I raise and Patrick calls with a 4 up, all others fold. I catch air and Patrick catches ostensible air as well, a 10. I bet and he calls. On fifth, he pairs his 10 and bets out. I estimate from there that if I call him down, I will be nearly busted if I lose (I thought the limits rose *very* quickly in this tournament). Patrick is one of these guys who handles his upcards very neatly, and for a moment --**and through absolutely no fault of his** -- I thought the first 10 was his doorcard. That induced me to fold, but immediately after folding, I looked again and saw his board was 4-T-T, not T-4-T. Now, he probably had two pair, but my aces have plenty of odds to chase two pair. I am a dog anyway, but by folding there incorrectly, I was nearly crippled. I busted out just as two-table play started, when I had the bring-in almost all-in with (84)3 and was busted by someone (names again) making a full house in five cards for complete and utter overkill. I go and play some 10/20, which for the absolute first time is not a completely easy lineup. I have Arty Santella and Chris O'Connor and some other people who know what they're doing. I transfer to the 20/40, and it is one of the absolute best 20/40s I've ever played. The bad players were bitching about the worse players, which I found hilarious. There was only one other guy in this game with a clue. A huge pot was dragged at one point by 93s limping UTG on a hand that was subsequently 3-bet behind him. On one hand, I get a free ride with K3 in the big blind. The flop comes down K-8-6. I bet and get called only by the small blind. The turn is a 3, making me kings up. The SB checks, I bet, and he raises. I re-raise and he 4-bets! Now I am scared he slowplayed a set of 8s or 6s and of course just call. The river is another king! He checks and calls, turning over AK. Basically, he managed to play each street wrong. As I'm playing this game, the stud tournament is playing out the final table, with the requisite cheering every time someone busts out. The locals in the 20/40 game have no idea what to think. They all seem to think perhaps that we're razzing the bust-out. I hear them talking about the pink game that went the other night and how it must suck to play so few hands per hour. They think we're insane. Here's what I think: I think we're the only fucking people in the place that know how to have fun playing poker. The rest of them are miserable SOBs who play this game because they have no other hobbies, social lives, or redeeming abilities. They bitch at suckouts, they bitch at dealers, they bitch about everything. It should come as no surprise that a group like this should find the ATLARGErs so distasteful; the ATLARGErs are actually in a poker room having a good time! The nerve! Anyway, I beat the miserable fishy SOBs for $708 when Joan informs me there is an impromptu dinner. I love taking money from these terrible players, but I love the company of RGPers too. We go to a restaurant that seems way too classy for me. We all have a good time laughing about the menu, which is just beautifully pretensious. The menu informs that there is a $12 (!)charge for sharing plates. It also says, "to preserve the integrity of the chef's creations, please, no substitutions". (I wonder momentarily whether this is just some protective measure against someone like, ordering ham and asking it to be substituted with lobster, but then I realize I'm actually in a classy restaurant where people probably don't do stuff like that.) The food is good (presumably due to the integrity of the chef's creation being preserved) albeit damn expensive for a cheap bastard like me. However, what I lose in differential between the cost of this nice expensive meal and a ham/turkey sandwich from the snack bar at the Taj, I gain in quality conversation. My proudest moment in the weekend was not 2nd place in NLHE but answering a stud question that had been puzzling Bill Chen (note that I was up to 8 hours of stud experience by that point). I visited the grand house of our illustrious ATLARGE organizer, Stevan Goldman, which actually served as the poker compound for Bill, Sabyl, Matt, Patrick, and Arty. After lost dinner EV, I went back to the Taj 20/40 hold'em, which was then officially the best 20/40 I had ever played in. Very few 3/6 games are so loose-passive. Three players seemed very inexperienced; one was cited for a string raise and was very close to being cited on a number of occasions; others showed their inexperience by handling cards and chips poorly, never seeming to know when its their turn, calling with A-rag, and the typical newbie stuff). Four players were experienced but very bad. One player, a lady on my immediate left, played well, but she was constantly walking. One guy was not terrible. And me; clowns to the left of me and jokers to the right. How good was the game? I won an $880 pot with an unimproved KK with an ace on the flop. It was limped by five players to me on the button with KK. I raise, both blinds call, and 2 off the button says, "build the pot" and re-raises. I cap, only the BB drops. Seven of us for a cap, 30 bets in the pot. The flop comes A-8-3. I start to feel my stomach turn. It is checked around to me, I throw in my "I know I'm way behind, but I'm willing to take the 30:1 odds that I can win this" bet. One folds so there are only 6 players left to see the turn. The turn is a J. It is checked around to an absolutely terrible player on my immediate right who bets. There is $760 in this pot. If I can raise and check down the river, my effective odds are 800:80. I am probably beat, but for the small chance he is betting less than an ace into me, I must raise. This flashes through my mind very quickly, and I raise very quickly to represent trip aces. All fold but the bettor who calls. The river is another 8, so as I'm thinking I'm now also screwed if he was semibluffing an 8, he checks. I am happy to check back. "Two pair," he says. "Which two?" He looks downcast. A glimmer of hope arises in me. I table the kings. He bitches about getting counterfeited by the 8 (you know what that necessarily makes his hand, right?) and mucks. Someone over in middle position slams his fist into the table, saying my raise on the turn made him fold 87. I feel good and proud, strong enough to take on the world. Some may call this results-oriented; I call it, "another example of do whatever the hell you can to win when the pot is gi-freaking-gantic". Let's view this hand from another perspective: the pot was capped 7-ways preflop and no one had an ace (the BB who folded to my cap -- one of the three non-horrible players in the game -- claimed to have had one). After what had been a terrible start to the session, I pull from $300 in the hole to +$400. I win a few more, then take a few inevitable loose-game beats, to book a $406 win in 4.5 hours. Now that's well over 2 BB/hour, but again, I'm arrogant enough to think that variance actually was unkind to me; that my EV was in fact higher. I will be struck dead by the poker gods, I'm sure. I am getting a ride with Goldie and Patrick to the airport early tomorrow (this) morning, so I head back to my room after the fish start getting replaced by decent players, pack and grab a quick nap. General observations on the Taj: I found the games were generally very passive, far different than equivalent hold'em played in either LA or Vegas. Flush draws frequently check-called instead of betting or jamming for value. Very little semibluff raise on the turn -- epidemic among Vegas regulars. Overall I felt dealers were good and efficient, with few weak spots. There were a couple of dealers who had lousy attitudes, even they tended to be efficient, at least. For this, I toked them despite my better judgment. The ATLARGE tournaments were well-run and I thought the tournament staff were quite friendly and efficient. Drink service is the worst I have ever seen in any poker room. A local player told me that the waitresses evidently feel the poker players don't take care of them well enough. I'm sure that poker room waitresses make less than say, those serving high-limit baccarat, but I imagine they do better than those at the slots. But regardless, their income is linearly correlated with the number of drinks they serve, and so it's completely ridiculous for them to be out once an hour to serve drinks and take orders. 5-day poker totals: Ring: +$3040, 50 hours, $60.80/hour Tournament: $545 in buy-ins/tokes, $2046 in winnings, +$1501, 18 hours, $83.39/hour Total: +$4541, 68 hours, $66.78/hour Sleep: $0, 24 hours, $0.00/hour. Sleep is overrated! It's always nice to book a winning trip, of course, but I'm sure I'd have had fun no matter what the results. It was absolutely great to be able to meet the men and women behind the screen names. My sincerest gratitude in particular to goldie, for doing a great job as organizer and for the lift to the airport; and to Tina, Joan, Matt and Rick who generously provided various ground transportation on the rare occasions I wasn't in the Taj poker room. With all impartiality, thanks of course to PokerStars, as well as the Taj. Hope to see you all at my first BARGE. -- Terrence Chan http://www.sfu.ca/~tchand/

Disclaimer: Much of this trip report, including names, times, or what the flop was, may be inaccurate or wrong, or I might have made it up. I woke up early Friday morning and set out for AC. The drive usually takes me about two hours from Rockland County (suburbs of NYC) and traffic was light so the trip down was uneventful. I checked into the Taj a little after 11. Taking the advice of Roy West via Tiger, the first thing I did upon arriving was UNPACK. I guess this is supposed to help with your patience or discipline or something. After a bit I headed down to the poker room. The Taj has always been my favorite place to play in AC; the wide open space and bright lighting keep me in a better mood. I can usually play for nearly four hours at the Taj without getting severely depressed and bored. At the Trop it takes about two. Unfortunately the Taj usually doesn't spread H/L Stud which is the only poker game I'm any good at so I have booked most of my hours in the Trop. The poker room was quite sleepy at first. The ATLARGERs were playing in the HOSE tournament and the rest of the room was pretty dead. I started up an interest list for 1-2 PLO/PLHE and waited for people to bust out. Shortly afterward a 3/6 HOE game started. I sat in this game and played with a bunch of folks including Jerrod from California, a rather nice woman named Laurie, a guy named Len who I've played with online, and Steve Carbonara whom I had met before. So I sat in the HOSE game for a while and started getting really bored because I hate 3/6. I was a little wary about wearing my "Roswell" badge because I always insult people when playing online and I was afraid someone would see it and want to kick my ass. But eventually I put it on and wore it with pride. Since I was so bored I started playing a little nutty. At one point when we were playing holdem I raised it up with 92s and kept betting the whole way. Steve Carbonara called me down and checked on the river. The board was something like KJ8 with a flush out there. I had to check it back and he won with pocket 6's. That hand really steamed me. He probably would have mucked if I bet. I mean, if I was going to play like an aggressive monkey I should at least follow it through to the bitter end. Despite my monkey play I left this game down about $20. At this point me and Steve started up the 1-2 PLO/PLHE game I tried to get going earlier. It quickly filled. I bought in for around $400 and most folks had around two, except for ADB Fish who had me covered. I thought it would be all RGP'ers but somehow an Eminem-wannabe-kid found his way into the game. At first he appeared to know what he was doing, but it soon became evident that he had no clue when he said "I call your 25 and I raise 50." Of course everyone jumped on his ass for that as they well should have. Steve Carbonara was the first guy to take this kid's stack with a brilliant read, then ADB Fish busted him for another $500 or so when Fish flopped a set. Fish filled up on the river, and the kid bet his whole stack into him and got sent packing. I played only one big pot this whole time. Basically I didn't want to get involved with ABD Fish without the nuts, because he was the only who had me covered. So on this hand he raised to $7 from the button and I called with a crappy KJ of clubs. The flop was AQc4c. I checked to him and he bet the pot. Thinking I could blow him off I checkraised him the pot. He thought for a few seconds and called. So here I am in the worst situation in pot limit: out of position with a draw against a deep stack. Lucky for me the turn was a 2c giving me the second nuts. I decided to get cute and knuckled the table quickly. He didn't bite and checked right back. The river paired the deuce and I quickly bet the pot ($175) without thinking. Of course this is not a very smart bet; if I think I'm best I should bet smaller, maybe half the pot, so I can make a little money from the hand. Then again he probably wouldn't have called anyway because ADB Fish seemed like he was too smart for that shit. In any case, he mucked. This was the only big pot I was involved in, and I won it, but somehow I managed to lose $200 in the game, mostly from seeing flops that missed, then mucking. The game broke soon after the Eminem kid busted out. At this point I was really steamed because I couldn't remember where that $200 went. I think I went over to the Trop for a while but I couldn't get a game, so I headed back to the Taj. We tried to start pot limit again, but this time the ATLARGERs put on a $200 buyin cap. I was a little annoyed by this so I was playing a little nutty preflop, raising and straddling a lot. Then a hand came up where I had QQ in the BB and there were like 6 limpers. I popped it up and everyone called, there was about $75 in the pot. The flop was Q47. I wasn't giving any free cards into 6 people so I led out for $30 and everyone mucked. I was kind of annoyed about that. Soon after, I noticed the Taj had a 10-20 H/L Stud for some reason, so I went and played in that for about five hours. An RGPer named DavidK was in the game and shortly afterward a very nice gentleman named Bo joined us. Apparently he had won the HOE tournament earlier in the day. He was doing a crossword and needed a four letter word for Bob Dole's running mate in 1996. "Jack Kemp!" I said. I think I was right, I'm not really sure. At some point during this period, the room started to go nuts over something on TV. The cheering got so loud that I thought maybe we won the war, but it turned out to be some stupid basketball thing. So I hung around there until about 1 AM until I just couldn't take anymore. I left even from that game and called it a night. After a completely unrefreshing sleep I woke up ready for the NL tournament. This tourney had a very good structure, giving us T1500 with only 5/10 blinds to start, and 30 minute rounds. To the best of my recollection, my table featured Sabyl, Big Al (I think), Bill Chen, some guy named Garnish, Jester, some guy who looked like Chris Kattan, and some other people I don't remember. Quickly it became known as the busting table because some double-ups happened right away. I was playing good and getting good cards. One hand I limped with PRESTO in a 5 way pot. Flop was T95 no flush draw. I bet T25 from UTG hoping someone would pop it, but I got two callers. Turn is a 3 and I was through screwing around so I bet 150. The Goldiefish called. The river was a K and since QJ was a reasonable hand for him I checked. Goldiefish bet 300. I called... he showed K5 and I took it down with PRESTO amidst many oohs and aahs. So now I had run my stack up to about 2500 and I was feeling good, like I was r00ling the table. Few hands later I make it 100 UTG with Aqo. Two callers including Sabyl on the button... flop is Q55. I liked it. I checked and Sabyl bet 200. I popped it up to 600 and she flat called. Now I should have known I was in deep shit. Turn was a blank... I shoved it allin. She beat me into the pot with her 55 which had flopped quads. Now of course everyone feels dumb when they run into quads, but I made a huge mistake here. Basically you should never go all-in in a NL tourney unless 1) You think you might get called by a worse hand 2) You may get a better hand to fold 3) You are bluffing Obviously none of these conditions were true... I had about 500 left and hung around for a while longer but couldn't do much and that was that. I really have no one to blame for this besides myself. I was running really hot and getting cards, getting lucky, then I blew it. Ah well. So now it was off to the Trop to play 15/30 H/L Stud, which is my main game. I'm pretty much a loser at every other form of poker, but I have a good hourly rate in this game. Well when I got there the lists were full... and I noticed a 30/60 two way game, omaha and eight or better. I made about the 142nd mistake of my ATLARGE trip by sitting in this game, where I got pounded right in the ass. It was a good game, and I was playing good, but a bunch of starting cards that don't get there in 30/60 can easily make you lose more than a dime, which is exactly what happened... Around this time I was pretty disgusted so I moved over to 15/30 H/L Stud, which I had wanted to play to begin with... once more I was getting crushed... Then I got into an argument with everyone at the table about the war in Iraq... without going into details it was pretty much all seven other guys against me. A shouting match broke out and two floor people came over... I said "Let's just play poker." I had pretty much said my piece and didn't see the point of continuing to argue. Everyone was pretty steamed and there was even more hatred and animosity at the poker table than usual. I wasn't getting any cards here so I moved back to 30/60 for a while... There was this one lady in the game involved in an Omaha pot. The flop came down and her husband brought her some food they had ordered. She started swearing at him in Chinese. "I'm in hand! What's matter with you! Idiot!!" The husband comes over and said "What did you say? Are you fucking crazy?? I'll fucking crack you right here! Don't fucking talk to me like you talk to these people!!" (indicating the rest of the room.) Witnessing that little exchange made me feel a little uncomfortable. Meanwhile I'm getting more and more depressed as I surrender my $5 ante every single hand. The 30/60 game was just burning my ass so I had to leave and go back to a different 15/30 h/l game, at which point I got dealt rolled up 8's, made quads on 4th st, and got half of a very big pot. "Didn't you just sit down?" asks the dealer. Yes, but I've been folding every shitty hand for about 20 hours now and I'm still stuck huge. Even making quads didn't get the gambling chemicals flowing in my brain, I had pretty much stopped caring by this point. I played another hour until the cards started getting completely meaningless. My ears started ringing and my eyes grew heavy... I just sat and sat waiting for the big scooper hand, but it never came. Finally got up. Headed back to the Taj to look for RGPers... the clackety-clack of the chips and the ding-a-ding-dong of the slot machines was driving me nuts... Even though I had the room for another night I just couldn't stand the thought of hanging around the casino any more. I got in the car and headed back home broke. Overall it was kind of a shitty trip. Roswell

As usual LenG and I traveled down to AC together for ATLARGE. Len insists on driving simply because I am a gimp and can't get my right leg to the brake pedal as quickly as possible in years past. Not a gamb00ler, Len. He wants the "nuts" even for a simple car trip. Not wanting to listen to him whimper all the way down I let him drive, knowing that I would suffer in terror all the way because of his inveterate tailgating. As usual I could trim my nose hairs using the rear view mirror of the cars ahead of us, we were that f'ing close. I wore my "Ooops, I Crapped My Pants" brand adult diapers for the trip. The package said they were good for " Up to 225 pounds", so I knew I would be able to get away with only one diaper for the whole weekend ! A bargain, but a bit uncomfortable by the time I got home. We stopped at the White House and picked up a couple of Philly Cheese Steak Subs on the way to the Taj. Best food I ate all weekend. Len's first time there. If you don't know about the place make it a point to grab one the next time you are in AC, it's a must ! As always Len and I shared a room at the Taj. Len made the reservations and stepped to the check in desk to register with his credit card and as always I stood right behind him and told the girl behind the desk that I was really looking forward to the weekend because it was Len's turn to " be the girl" which always brings a welcoming smile and sets the tone for a weekend of mutual ball-breaking and laughs. Next stop was the elevator where I waited for the right moment in a silent and crowded elevator to ask Len just quietly enough for everyone to overhear , " did you remember the personal lubricant? " On to the poker room. It's been way too long since I've seen my 'arg friends and there's a bunch already playing. Baby Pl game starts up almost immediately and that is virtually the only game I play, almost non stop. all weekend, except for a few lonely forays to the BJ and roulette tables where I go of necessity to make back some of my lost income, (these games are more positive EV for me than poker). We are playing half HE and half Omaha and to my left is a "rounder" explaining to me how he uses the "snake" to make money playing BJ. Seems he starts at one end of the boardwalk and snakes through every casino for some BJ action, playing till he's ahead $200. then moving to the next casino. Asked why he moves after a $ 200.00 win, he says in all seriousness that he doesn't want to attract the attention of the pit bosses !! ( Walter Rulla take note !! ). The young rounder helps me out with my poker skills, kindly answering all my queries ( Omaha is the game where you get 4 cards down ? ) till the inevitable happens and Fich cleans him out in one biggish hand, bye bye rounder. Fortune smiles upon me however and Fich (a/k/a ADB Conduit) has an accident when a 3rd A the turn drops like a scud missile against his rolled up presto and he and Sander cough up about $ 600 to me. I play my usual tight and disciplined game till about 11:30 and I head for bed. A stop at a roulette wheel nets me another $ 600 or so after careful selection of numbers using the Doctrine of Maturing Chance ( a number which hasn't come up is more likely to come up) and some advice purchased from the TV psychic Miss Cleo shortly before her indictment. Ca-ching.....a g00d first day for this r00ler. Up at 8 AM for some breathing exercises (using a pack of Marlboro Lights) and a healthy breakfast ( donuts and insulin ) and it's downstairs for the NLHE tournament . We can skip over the tournament. They're all about luck !! Once the grueling 15 minutes I spent in the tournament are finished I head to a real game of skill ( BJ ) where I pick up $ 925.00. I take a nap. watch some war news and wander back to the poker room for some more baby PL. I am now in the groove and seem to fold hand after hand rarely looking at a flop. Despite this I drop about $ 1000.00 ( must have been the crushing blinds !! ) over the course of the day. Time for dinner. 2 knuckleheads ( Le nnie and Pizzaman) insist on going to Dynasty ( the " upscale" Chinese restaurant ). Great company, mediocre overpriced food. I WILL never again eat at a Chinese restaurant in any casino. $ 40 for a dinner I can get at the local takeout place for $9 at home. Back to the PL game, one set up just for the arg group. Thank you Taj !! Barry Kornspan, Raydon,LenG, Steve Carbonara, Big Al, Pizzaman, Russ Fox and a few others play a very tight game for hours and again I rarely get involved, losing quite a bit being blinded away, The only hand I do recall is one in which my J 10 suited fills up and I clean out Raydon, who, lets face it. is, a maniac who plays ANY two Cards ! I drop another $ 500 or so ( in blinds I guess) and I head back to roulette, buy in for $ 175 ands hit a zero with $20 on the 2nd spin for a 700 win and leave with a $ 680 profit. Off to bed. I sleep late ( a night filled with disturbing dreams involving Tammy from the poker room and a pair of handcuffs) and we leave at about 10 AM after saying our good-byes to the few we find in the poker room. I leave a PokerStars Jacket with Barry Kornspan to be returned to Steve Goldman, our organizer. Barry is asked to tell Steve that I found it hidden in Len's suitcase. Big Al and I were in the hospitality suite the eve before rummaging through the shirts and stuff generously provided by Pokerstars ( we both wear size XX-muscular) when Al opens a box with a medium jacket in it. Al said "I guess the jackets were the first thing to go". I grab the "last" jacket and say "heck, I'll give it to my daughter. I didn't know they were giving away JACKETS !" During the PL game that night I hear Raydon talking about the fact that someone has walked off with jackets meant to go to the tournament winners ( oops!). On the drive home we stop at a rest area on the Garden State Parkway and I buy a Danish pastry and a coffee and notice a very attractive brunette at the condiment bar putting " fixins" on a hot dog. In an attempt to strike up a conversation I asked her to hand me a couple of packets of mustard, which I am then forced to squeeze across the surface of my cherry Danish so she won't suspect my real motive for the request, taking several bites to further allay any suspicions. It is a long ride and queasy home. My deepest thanks to the Taj Mahal, Pokerstars and Steve Goldman for a great weekend at ATLARGE and to all the 'arger's present for a weekend of laughs. When does BARGE registration open ?

Preface: "Once in a great while, there comes an article so breathtakingly stupid, so heroic in its inanity, that as one reads it, even inanimate objects in the surrounding area seem to radiate intelligence by comparison."           -Some guy on the Internet That pretty much sums up this report! ATLARGE 2003 Oh me, oh my. How to begin this report? To tell you the truth, I didn't really do much with the fellow 'Argers. I attended the smoker, took some video for posterity and that was about it. I did play some Pink and PL in which I got thoroughly spanked. After getting raped in both games I decided not to play in them again. I hear afterwards two PL games were started in the suite but I didn't get wind of it until after the game broke. I would've been Steve "IFSATG" Carbonara's bitch anyway considering I can't seem to put enough chips into the pot after saying raise. I heard raising $5 just makes him lick his chops. Ronald "Baltimore Ron" Wilson, Dennis "PSU72" Frey and I made the trek together and bunked together. We talked much about the upcoming weekend. I made resolutions to play solid and make a final table or two, as did the other guys. Unfortunately, I didn't do either. I played pretty solid and made some "sketchy" 3-bets according to my friends but there's history there that supercedes all rationalization. But I digress. I'll go into a little detail about the few hours that preceded the Smoker. The first game I plopped down in was a nice $15-$30 Holdem game. I didn't make any headway for the first hour and was almost down to the felt from my initial buyin of $400. At about the same time a young Asian guy with a root beer and some sort of snack he tried to pawn off to the table hunkered down. He looked an awful lot like a guy I saw on the Internet. A guy named Terrance Chan, but this guy had a smooth haircut much like mine. I decided he was ultra cool, you know, because of his haircut and all. It also didn't hurt that he was Asian, so there's a natural affinity there. I was on a small run when I finally buckled down and asked if he was who I thought he was. He confirmed my assumption and we made formal introductions. Terrance is a great guy and has the typical Asian constitution. I heard he only had a couple of hours of sleep before the HOE tourney. I had QQ cracked by a set of 33's and I was about to go noodle on the entire table. But I staved off the tilt and proceeded to charge forward. I wish I recalled all the hands that brought me back from the cellar but the only thing I remember is catching flops and leaving the table for the smoker positive $150 in about an hour. I asked Terrance if he was going to the smoker to which he replied, "What, and leave this fishy game?" Seriously, I think he mentioned something about an aversion to smoke. Eh, to each his own. I was a bit off about what time the smoker started and since I already picked up from the $15 game I was standing around like a dorf. I managed to hop into a newly started $10-$20 Holdem game. Shortly afterwards I was joined by a studly gentleman by the name of David "Greatplans" Fruchter. I introduced myself and felt that I made a new friend in Dave. I asked Dave if he planned on attending the smoker. He said he wouldn't miss it for the world. We had a great time talking and playing together. After about a hour and half and getting Aces cracked by an UTG caller with 3h7h I decided to take my winnings and start drinking a little early. I found my friend Dennis sitting in a $5-$10 Holdem game so I decided to sweat him for a while. I was quickly bored after I watched him throw Presto away in the BB after a raiser and 3 cold callers. I was getting that poker itch again and settled into a $3-$6 game. After all, I was drinking so there was no reason to play any higher and besides, I could put everyone at the table on tilt with my loud drunken ways. There were about 3 people able to collect social security at the table. What better way to bring ATLARGE to a screaming start than getting the locals all riled up. It didn't take long since I had a little help from my newly made friend, David Fruchter. I played blind Holdem raising and reraising. It reminded me of BARGE '01 when Robert "ActionBob" Hwang and I did the same thing to the locals at Binion's playing $4-$8. This time, I was with Dave. There was one hand where Dave and I were in together, playing blind of course, and we were headsup after the flop. On the turn I bet then turned a card up after Dave called. I think I had a pair and Dave has some sort of draw. We were laughing so hard I was shooting beer from my nose. I ended up taking it down with that same pair. But what we didn't notice was that one of the older ladies complained to the floor about our behavior and the fact we turned up our cards before the hand was over. Dave and I continued to laugh and carry on and I think the lady eventually left. One time I was laughing and yelling so loud that the table behind us was starting to grumble. I took a stack of white chips and tipped everyone at the table. Then I tipped the dealer a redbird. Needless to say, they didn't complain again. I took about $200 out of the game with my antics. Dave and I racked up and headed out. Smoker The smoker was a pretty good time. Rob drove Ron and me after I got my video camera from the room. I'm a little upset with myself that I didn't use the camera more often in the tourneys. I should've at least recorded the final table action. Maybe if there's a BARGE this year I'll try to make more of a concerted effort. I bought a couple Don Diego Playboy's, AVO #10, and a H. Upmann Tubos for Rob and myself. I kept the AVO and we smoked the rest. I recommend the Playboy to anyone who likes a smooth Connecticut wrap. Nothing much happened at the smoker except Matt "Treasure" Treasure hitting on every woman in the joint, and maybe some guys too. What do you do if Bill Chen moves in with the biggest stack at a final table behind a short stack all in? Oh, and in case anyone missed it, Matt won $10,000 at a Pokerstars.com tournament in February and you call right behind him with Queens. With that being said, it was a good time shared by all. Russell Fox shared a Mike Laing story that can only be executed as succinctly by him so I won't make an attempt. Congrats to Chuck Taylor for winning the over/under and giving me a piece of the action after talking him out of bidding $1,800. Sheesh, Chuck, what were you thinking? Holdem, Omaha, Eight or Better The H.O.E. tourney. I forgot to write down who the other players at the table were. From memory I'm going with Linda "Llew" Lewis, Chris "Chris" O'Connor, Dave "Dave!" Croson, Sabyl "Sabyl" Cohen and my arch nemesis, Paul "prm" McMullin. That guy made the 3rd level so horrible for me I thought he was a prop in an online game. Every Omaha hand I played at 75-150, whether or not I raised made no difference; Paul made sure he was in every pot. Like a scorching case of Hemorrhoids, he was a pain in my keister. I must've lost every hand on the river to him, hence the reason for the expression on my face in the paper. But no hard feelings, I'll exact my revenge at BARGE or next year's ATLARGE. Just you wait and see. Anyhow, I never claimed to be an Omaha expert and I think I just played too many hands during that round. Joan "AlwaysAware" Hadley and ActionBob made their way to our table. Bob eventually made it to the final table. Congrats! I exited the tourney in 36th or something. Looking over my notes I noticed that I did play way too many hands in Omaha. Not the choice recipe for Omaha success. My favorite hand I'm sitting in this game with a few decent players; one of the better players is 2 to my right. The guy on my immediate right is Vkotlyar, a regular 2+2 poster. This one Asian guy (the local's call him Mumbles) and I were in a hand that caused some confusion because he didn't understand I was checking blind on the river. He got a 30 minute penalty after being obnoxious but never left the area of the table. Unfortunately, since this guy was funding everyone at the table we tried our best the get him to stay and we couldn't talk the floor into changing their minds. Anyway, he comes back into the game and in 1/2 hour I'm about down to the felt from some set backs. I have close to $50 in mid-late position. UTG limps, Vkotlyar limps and I look down to see 9hTh. Not a bad hand, eh, considering the action? I know that Mumbles will be calling and I figure that both blinds will call too. Maybe even more! Everyone else folds and the blinds call. There are 6 people in this pot. The flop comes down 7h 8c 4s. This might be a good flop for my hand, eh? It gets checked around to me so I bet. Mumbles calls and everyone folds to the UTG guy, he calls. Vkotlyar, right next to me calls. Now, I'm about all in here. So….4 way action on the turn and a Qh falls. UTG checks and Vkotlyar bets. Well, shit. What am I going to do here? I do the most obvious thing. I raise all in. I figure it's the best bet and I have many, many outs. Mumbles, the UTG and Vkotlyar all call. I figure it was promising there wasn't a reraise. So now there's a small side pot. The river brings a 2c. Now I'm all fucked, right? UTG folds his hand in disgust. Vkotlyar and Mumbles check. Vkotlyar shows 6d 9d and I stay very still since this is for the side pot. Mumbles shows Tc 6c and I'm just about to bust out of my seat! Mumbles takes the side pot and I proudly show my Th 9h for the main pot! Ship da Cheese!

Order of elimination from all ATLARGE 2003 tournaments.