The story of my twenty-seventh BARGE.
“Obi-wan Kenubi.”

Monday, July 25th

Attend the virtual BARGE Board of Directors meeting on Zoom.

Chuck Weinstock gets the first trip-report-worthy note
when he says “That sets a high bar. Did someone say bar?“
Much laughter. We missed you at BARGE, Chuck.

Thursday, July 28th.

Kristina drops me off at SJC about 80 minutes before my flight.
I giver her $20 as Uber would certainly be way more.
TSA line quite long. Amazing to me that only 15% of so of people
are wearing masks. It’s still 80% at Costco.

Get to my gate 50 minutes early. Devour a delicious sandwich
that Sandi made for me earlier.

My flight gets in early and I’m in a little rush to get to the
Westgate to check in and then register for the 4:00 tournament.
John Lloyd’s flight is tiny bit delayed so we missed meeting up.
I apologized later and John told me not to worry about it. Thanks.

First BARGER sighted in Kyle Minnis.

First hug goes to Mom Garrett.
Quickly followed by Debbie, Kathy, Martin and Nancy.

Kevan Garrett gives be three old coins he’s been saving for me.
Two 1943 steel pennies and a 1964 silver dime. Thanks!!!

Get my badge and sign up for the 4pm tournament.

Because I flew in Thursday afternoon, I missed the Death March
(BARGE Golf outing) and also missed C-HORSE. Will try to do both in 2023.

No line to check in?
Leave my bags in the room and rush back down just in time for…


Pot-Limit Oklahoma tournament. 23 players, I believe.

I’m wearing a mask. GamboMouse is sealed in a baggie.
I’d say 30% of players are wearing masks.

We each get four cards, must play exactly two high and low.
It can be the same two or a different two. Or one of each.
Board is like hold’em. And you can bet up to what is in the pot.
We have two rebuy lammers to use if/when we need more chips.

There are three flops/turns/rivers.
The board(s) with the lowest river card is/are taken away.
So you can have a wheel or quads on the turn and have it go away.

Table:
Sharon K., Grizz, Dean, me, Nolan, Regis, DLow and Haroldson.

Ed. note: I put “me” fourth as I am in seat four at the table, not because
I don’t know how to write.


Payoff massive sports betting debt to Nolan here.
Good to have the money out of my wallet so that I can’t lose it.


I can hear DLow and Haroldson talking about me, but have no idea what
they are saying.


I have to use my reading glasses to see the suits. First time! Sad!
I’m having trouble telling clubs and spades apart.


I take 3/4ths of a big pot against Nolan.
It only takes the dealer about three minutes to divide the pot.


Regis and I both flop wheels and end up getting a quarter of the pot.
We both checked and called the flop and turn and I think the river
was checked around.

I walk over to Regis to say “We both played that horribly.“
Regis says “Go team Us!” and then we do a high-five!


Dean sends a $1 chip to the dealer using a race car.

Regis (to her opponent) when she wins a pot with a big full house:
“You’re going to need a bigger boat!”

Random Comment Department (RCD) “Sexting with Sabyl.”

Remember earlier when I said I was having trouble seeing suits?

I accidentally make a big bluff bet when I think I have a club flush.
I get Grizz to fold a straight. I turn up my cards only to see
that three are spades. Only one is a club.
This bluff saves Mark H. who wins the main pot with trips or something.

Regis calls GamboMouse “The bubble mouse.” Ha!

Dean shows us a cell photo of his wiener.

Doug Grismore wasn’t feeling well on Wednesday and took a COVID test.
He popped positive so is quarantining in his room for the rest of BARGE.

David Low and Dean get Doug into the action by betting on which
flop will go away on the river. DLow is dutifully taking photos on the
flops and after the river of each hand to keep Doug informed.


Note says: Corey Neen Claudia. Not sure what that means. Probably hugs.
Oh! Neon! Corey won a tournament earlier too.

Crunch (to someone): “Fuck you!“
Much laughter.

Notes say: Crinl 3 chains. What?

AA holds vs. DLow.

Player 1: “Wow!“
Player 2: “That’s what she said.”

Emergency low for David Low.


Waitress gets me to switch from rum and Diet Coke to bourbon and Diet Coke.”

My handwriting goes from 5th grade level to 2nd grade level. At least the
letters a big.


Down to 10. Bremer and I are the last ADBs.
He has a 3-1 chip lead on me, but we do a $10 save for the ADB last longer.
A good deal for me at the time, but worked out for Rich.


Final Table:
Regis, Dean, DLow, me, Barry, Kyle, Bremer and Grizz.


Next note is a mystery…
Dea 1 / Or XXXXX Vernon Kyle G zzz.


We come up with a save for 5th place.

Final 5 are Dean, DLow, me, Kyle ad Grizz.


Randal in up on the big screen of the sports book singing “When I’m 64.”

Remember when “64” sounded really old?


Notes say “Becca hug. Dean on tilt.” I don’t think these were linked.

Me: “Time out under the floor.”

I go out in 3rd place for $399 and a plaque. Grizz beat me.
I offered him a chip or a pair of dice. He took the chip.

Hugs from Hack and Peter.
Grizz defeats Dean. Notes say “Mr. Bridesmaid.”


I remember bits and pieces of a conversation with Gerdog on the
way to my room. Such a good guy.


Have two Pop-tarts, drink a glass or two of water and crash.

Friday, July 29th

Cell phone alarm goes off at 6:40 a.m. Why!?!?


The BARGE Fun Run.

Five Participants:
Runners: Deadhead and me.

Lawful out with an injury. Mickdog and Joe out due to COVID concerns.

Walkers: Keith Troell, Paul Stine and Len Greenberg.
I don’t recognize Len at first as he has lost weight and is wearing
a baseball cap.

The weather is pretty good. Overcast and in the low 70s.

Deadhead has the course plotted out and let me set the pace.
About 12 minutes per mile for the 3.1-mile loop.
Looking at notes, this is much faster than 2021.

Deadhead gives me a Fun Run bottle opener. Thanks!


Take a great shower and do some shower laundry.

Back to bed for an hour.


BARGE BOD/Organizers breakfast at Sid’s.

Table:
Lawful, Russ, Rich B., Patti, Christian and me.

We talked about some stuff and had a free breakfast. Thanks BARGE!


Online Calcutta bidding ends around here.
Not as fun as the live version, but certainly way better than nothing.
I did all of the touts/comments on for the Calcutta.
If you need any explained, let me know.

Thanks to the people who set this up and special thanks to David Low
for working with my comment file as plain text.


Tournament of Champions (TOC) tournament.
Playing hold’em, 7-stud and Omaha-8.


Table:
Peter, Claudia M., Dang? (Dan G.), Lawful, me, Joe, Dean and Crunch.


Today, I don’t need my reading glasses!
Was it the 3-mile run or all the drinking Thursday night?
More testing needed.


Jeanne makes a custom PG-13 mask for GamboMouse. Pic posted on Facebook.
Thanks Jeanne.


Dan talking to Dean: “I have a better king.“
Dean” “It’s a jack.“
Dan: “Oh, I have a better jack.”

I learn that Joe’s nickname “Cap” is from his being a (retired) Captain
for the NY Fire Dept. and yes, he was on the job on 9/11.

Peter: “Yeah, I have a gambling problem. I’m not winning.”

1:30 p.m. We’ve been playing for almost two hours and I’ve won zero hands!

Make quad 3s to win a pot. Yay!


Somewhere around here Patrick Kirwan gives me several Matchbox
cars and trucks that he’s had for 50 year. He knows I collect
Aurora, Hot Wheels and Matchbox cars. Thanks again!!!


Crunch advises us on changing urinals when your luck is running bad.
Doesn’t everyone know this?

Jesse suffers a bad-beat in a 4-way pot with Crunch, Joe and Claudia.
A river 7 puts a straight on the board to chop the pot.
Jesse has 77 in hand.

Next, Crunch makes four aces in 7-stud.

RCD: “Don’t write down the mushroom thing.”

7-stud.
Claudia brings it in showing a 5.
I start with Q8-Q and complete. Claudia calls.
She calls 4th and catches a K on 5th and bets out as I pick up my 4th heart.
I call and call again on 6th when I catch a 2nd 8.

She bets 3000 on the river. I only have 4500 left.
I peer at my river card. A lovely heart to make a flush! I raise.
She calls and rolls over 555KK for a well hidden full house.

I’m out. I give Claudia a touchless thermometer and batteries
as my bustout gift.


Claudia defeats Joe to with the TOC. Way to go!


Rich S., Diana and I go for lunch/dinner at the cafe.
I get a pastrami sandwich. Diana gets the cheeseburger.
Wow, her burger looks great. We end up trading half of our orders.

The bill (before discounts) is $65 and I charge it to my room to save $10.
I write in $13 for the tip.

Diana then throws in a $20 bill on top of the $13.
This is part of the 2022 Vic Mercer over-tipping tour.
Diana’s way of honoring her dad who passed away recently.

My dad would be rolling over in his grave if he knew we tipped $33
on a $65 tab.


Play a Quick Hits slot. First spin. Bet 30 cents. Win! I’m up $1.20.
I quit and lock up the win.


5-Draw Quick Quads tournament.

This one is basically good old 5-card draw high.
There’s a weird rule about trips + two other cards making quads.

Table:
Scottro, Gerdog, Oliver, me and Crunch.

After we draw our cards… Gerdog: “I got a rock.”

RCD: “Caveman poker.”

Scottro shows 88844. Since 4 + 4 = 8, this qualifies as quad 8s!

Deitch: “I busted out before the first cards were dealt.”

AA and bust Gerdog.


New Table:
Oliver, Scottro, Becca, Dean, me and Capps.

Becca: “I’m always in the middle.”

Jesse Capps is multi-tabling playing both the TOC and this tournament.

New Table again:
Russ, Crunch, me, Howard, Bremer and DLow. Capps busts Rich and David.


Marc Howard takes a lot of my chips with trips over two pair
and two pair over two pair.


Final Table:
Dean, Scottro, Howard, Russ, Bremer, me and Becca.

Vernon and Gambo take a selfie.


Rich goes out so I win a 2nd ADB last-longer bet. Yay.


Scottro takes me out with two pair. I roll him a pair of Dollar Tree
dice as the bust out gift.


Dean, Scottro, Becca and Russ are the final four.
A certain indecent proposal is made.

Russ (shaking his head): “NOOOOOO!” Maybe you had to be there.


Dean wins it. Is that allowed?

Saturday, July 30th.

Get a decent night’s sleep.

Pop Tarts and corn chips for breakfast.

Pack up and check out at 10:15 a.m.

I’ll be playing poker until after midnight and have a 6:30 a.m. flight.
I don’t need a room, right?


The BARGE NL (No-Limit) event. 83 players. Not bad considering.
Only down 5 from 2021.


Show JZK GamboMouse in his baggie. He’s pleased that Gambo can’t breathe.
His son, Sam is the Virgin Queen. All hail!


Around the Table:
Lori, Sabyl, C. Jones, Aronson, Eric S., Ben, Kathy, me and Prock.

Several years ago, Prock and I played next to each other for about
six hours. But that time I had position.

Rodney drops off GamboMouse’s first BARGE badge.

RCD Wordle: BLUFF.

Kathy: “Ken with a pen.”


Carol A. arrives at table 11 with her suitcase!
She came straight from the airport to the table.


99 and raise. Sabyl cold calls in position.
Flop is a friendly J-9-8 with two hearts.
I bet about 6000. Sabyl raises to 15,000.
I make the call and plan to jam if a safe card falls on the turn.
Turn Q. Yuck.
I check. Sabyl jams. I just frickin’ hate this.
She could have something like AhQh or just AJ. Or JJ or TT or AhTh.
I don’t like it and fold.

I asked her later and she said she had JJ. I believe her.
If Sabyl did bluff me, I tip my cap.

Interestingly (or not) Sabyl and I agree that we’ve played
very few hands against each other in over 20+ years of BARGE.
It just seems like we aren’t at the same table much.


I mention to Kathy that when I first played in the WSOP back around 2006,
some random person asked for my autograph. I thought perhaps the
fan thought I was Ted Forrest. Kathy didn’t buy that.

Lori overhears this and says that I’ll need to bust out the Grecian Formula
if I want to look like Ted Forrest. Youch!

I show Kathy my other look-a-like, Mark O’Meara. She likes that one better.


BARGE group photo around here. Rodney did a great job again.
Although I did hear from Rich Strauss that Rodney gave him two
correct photos and two photos of Edmund Hack!


Martin tells me that he’s finally gotten his first BARGE cash.
He signed up for the Blackjack tournament, got a refund because
it didn’t go and $20 in free slot play! WTG Slick!


“Walk for Prock.” It rhymes, right?


Eric is fanning himself. “Are you having a hot flash?”


The wild table behind us is having mimosas.
Notes say “Table 11 busts Westgate out of champagne.” Well done!


At some point, Carol A. tells her table that she was a cheerleader
in school. Nolan says “Oh, that makes the fantasy even better!“
Loud laughter.

Ed. note: The previous story was told to me second hand, so I hope
I got most of it correct.


RCD: “People are busting like microwave popcorn.“
Kathy: “You want to be the burnt one at the end.”


Folded to me in the SB. I pretend to look at my cards and jam blind.
Prock calls with T8s.
I tell him I haven’t looked at my cards as I flip up KK! I win.

Getting low on chips again. The evil BB ante is coming so I again
jam blind UTG. It’s a small raise and Kathy calls with K8.
This time I flip up AJo. Not bad! Win that hand too.

Two more orbits and I’m low on chips again. Blind jam UTG.
Jesse calls with AQ. I flip up 73o. Oppsie! Still 40% or so.
Flop is 5-4-X giving me a lot of outs.
Turn is a Q. Uh oh.
River X. I’m out.

I left the cartoon book in my bag. Will try to get it to Jesse next year.


Talk with John Grout around here about work and stuff.
Something about little endian vs. big endian.


Banquet.
Table:
Lawful, Diana, Rich. S., Grizz and me.

Free round of drinks for the room courtesy of Diana. Thank you!

I am starving, so I am pretty happy with the food.
Okay, the chicken could have been better.

Blair Rodman is our guest speaker.

His best line is what to do if you find an advantage game
(a game where you have an advantage over the house.)
Blair: “Don’t tell your fields!“
Much laughter.


4-8 Dealer’s Choice cash game.

Table:
Christian, Bremer, Kluchman, Chris Q., Un, me, Ron and Diana.

Dealer starts taking a jackpot drop even though our games are
not eligible for the jackpot. Chris smartly grabs some Scotch tape
and tapes over the jackpot drop slot.

I thought I went deaf at one point. Turned out it was just that
Un had gotten up for a minute.


I walk by the other table. One player is visibly upset and Randal
is talking to him and quickly cheering him up. Randal also did this
for me last year after I had lost a huge pot and was quite upset.


I gets stuck $80 very quickly and buy in again for a 2nd $100.
My wallet is nearly empty. Suddenly it dawns on me that I stuffed
$700 away in one of my bags Thursday night after the PLOK cash.
Woo hoo!

Finally win a pot. It had been like an hour so I took a photo
of the chips.


Somewhere around here Jesse wins the NL tournament. Way to go!
He is wearing a sash that said “BARGE Champion 2022” or something
like that.

The final table was chock full of great friends of mine.
I think I was most happy for Gerry who took 2nd and Nancy who took 5th.
Two of the nicest people at BARGE. We’ve played a ton on Cliff’s MB2 site
(devctm.com) and I think it’s helped our games a lot.


Sunday, July 31st.

The DC game dies out, so I join the 4-8 HORSE game.

Tim, Dan, Randal, Crunch, Lawful, Grizz and me.

This game quickly turns into “The Randal Show.”

Let me start by saying that Randal is a great guy. Everyone likes him.
He is very funny and may have had a drink or three.

I also need to thank Tim and David for repeating some of of the funny lines
below so that I could capture them for this here trip report.


Randal to Dan: “You’re evil in a sort of kind way.“
Too true, too true.

Randal: “I don’t think…“
Crunch “Obviously.”

2-7 game. I bet an 86542 after the 2nd draw. Randal, Tim and I are all pat.
We check it down.

I say “I have an 86.“
Randal says “I have an 86 too.” This is bad as I have a so-so 86.
We table our hands. Tim mucks.
Randal has 876xy. Me: “That’s a very rough 86, man.”

Randal calls me “Obi-wan Kenubi” a couple of times. Love it.

“I don’t know what it’s like to be off my ass because I’m always on it.”

Tim: “Try to learn this game when you’re drunk so you remember it
when you’re sober.”

Jessica the dealer chimes in with “Then you can read about it in
the trip report.”

“I would raise if I thought you had any idea what was going on.”

The game breaks at 3:47 a.m. Not bad for a bunch of mostly old guys.

Get my bags from the bell desk.
Walk back by the poker room. Grizz and Randal are still chatting.
Uber to the airport. Couple of problems in the TSA line.
Little girl tries to take a stuffed giraffe through the scanner.
Maybe they thought she was a drug mule. A drug giraffe?
I’m way early, so no worries.
Actually fall asleep on the flight home. This may be a first.


Kris picks me up at SJC. I give her $20.
She says this early morning trip costs more. “Surge pricing.” Ha!


Gambling…

craps: DNP
big 6 wheel: DNP
blackjack: DNP
live poker: lost $13
slots: won $1.20
tournaments: won, lost, lost, lost
last-longers: won
roshambo: DNP.

Three of the four players who busted me in the tournaments went on
to win the tournaments. Grizz, Claudia and Jesse.

Hugs: Nancy, Barbara, Debbie, Kathy, Sabyl, Diana, Bex, Gillian, Patti,
Jeanne, Connie, Claudia and Claudia.

Manly hugs: Rich S., Adam, Nolan, Dan, Larry B., Peter, Patrick,
Gerald, Corey, Deron, Kevan, Martin, Randal, Jeff, Maurer and Un.

I’m sure I’m forgetting a couple and/or making up a couple.


Missed all of my friends who didn’t make it this time.
Many very big names this year…

Chuck, Bingo, Bozo, Sharon G., Patrick, Eileen, Mickdog, Goldie, Betty, George,
JP, Bob, Pauline, Howler, Sue, Bruce, Lynsy, Murray, Steve W., Jepsen, Brennan,
Katie, Bob O., Markowitz, Siegal, Tanya, Jordan, Chic, Llew, Brenda, Derek,
Mecklin, Joe, Ed, Tina, North Shore, MPH, Brabecs, JD, Scoop, Dan N., Veach,
Sandra, Shari, Erin, Moser, Rob, Bart, Bill, Rafn, Andy, Lee, Tracy, Alex,
Pickels, Oz, Hammer, Susan, Grapes, O’Grady, Perry, Tom, Andreas, Oscar,
Russ, Tom, Pete, Taki, Masa, John, Paul, Mary, Charles, Janie, Mark,
Steve, Stephen, Dave and David.
There are many, many more.

Everyone please make an effort to come to BARGE 2023.
It is the best week of the year.

Thanks to the Westgate. The new home of BARGE.

The dealers, waitresses and poker staff all did good jobs.


Things were not quite back to normal this year, but better than 2021.


Kubey’s 2022 MVB (Most Valuable BARGEr) Award:

Dean Kerl. Six final tables. Five cashes.
And more importantly, all the fun selfies throughout the week.

Thanks to the board: Bozo, Lawful, Patti, JZK and me!
Thanks to the organizers: Russ, Bremer, Deitch, Sharon and Goldie.

Tech Crew: Doug G., David Low and Barry.

Patrick, we missed you!

The BARGE Chip Committee. Uh… some work to do.

Rodney with the fantastic photos as usual with personal deliveries too.

Peter and Chuck just plain r00l.

All the other folks who ran or sponsored events with their own cash.
Diana, Dan G., Asya, Ben, Sharon, Cliff, etc.

Thanks also to all the other people who make BARGE go.


Can I sign up for BARGE 2023 now?